Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.

***

The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.

***

I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.



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This article has 348 comments.


on Mar. 7 2011 at 10:37 am
WritingJulia SILVER, Binghamton, New York
6 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Kind words can be short and easy to say, but their echoes are truly endless." -Mother Theresa

I think that everyone who reads this can somehow relate.  Nicely written.

on Mar. 1 2011 at 1:20 pm
LiviHatcher BRONZE, Mexia, Texas
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
This is truly amazing, ifeel the same way all the timee, but looks arent everything. you have to learn to love your self before any body else will, god blesss and amazing work:)

chlo1787 said...
on Feb. 25 2011 at 1:31 pm

Believe me when I say looks are nothing. Personality is everything and I'm sure you have a great one.

 

I love the way this is written, it has a unique outline to it.


knolswimmer said...
on Feb. 25 2011 at 9:26 am
Looks aren't everything.  Being a little bigger never hurt anyone; any one who says so needs to suck it up, look in a mirror, and realize that their lives are sadder than Requiem For A DReam

ama1013 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:49 pm
ama1013 BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 25 comments
omg i can totally relate to you...but don't feel that way. everyone is different it's what inside that counts. That's what everyone tells me to think at least...haha ;) just think positive

on Feb. 12 2011 at 5:28 pm
T.R.Trevino BRONZE, San Diego, California
1 article 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
'I cannot, nor will, recant anything, for it is neither safe nor wise to go against conscience.' -Martin Luther

I have the same...issue. My mom and sister are nearly perfect when it comes to weight. I, however, am not. I hate going school cloths shopping, especially for jeans. I always tell my mom that, yes, I could fit into each pair we pick out, but they look weird. I remember my sister coming with me and my mom once and listening to us while we're talking and suddenly asking, in a rather snobby voice, "She's a size 12?" I wanted to cry.

 

Your writing is truly great, though!


on Feb. 9 2011 at 9:25 am
born2dance92 BRONZE, Sugar Grove, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Seize the day of die regretting the time you lost" -Avenged Sevenfold
"No day but today" -Rent
"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."
— Marilyn Monroe

I was so impressed that this came from someone of your age. Don't ever feel inferior to anyone because of your size. CURVES ARE BEAUTIFUL. Embrace your body and be proud! And most importantly, keep writing. You have amazing talent.

on Feb. 3 2011 at 4:21 pm
redpanda26 SILVER, Chevy Chase, Maryland
5 articles 5 photos 51 comments
your weight or style doesn't define who you are, kids these days can be really mean, but there's definitely people like you who would love to meet you

LadyShady GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 7:09 pm
LadyShady GOLD, Jamaica, New Jersey
11 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway." - Eminem

Some people don't understand what it's like for people who aren't the skinnest. I feel terrible about myself, and I don't mean to. I don't want to feel or look depressed. I just want to be me. But I don't eve know who "me" is anymore.

LadyShady GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 7:07 pm
LadyShady GOLD, Jamaica, New Jersey
11 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway." - Eminem

We're two of a kind. My mom drags me out shopping all the time. She's a stick, while I'm 30 pounds heavier. My self-esteem? Um, none.

Since I don't have much of a fashion choice, I have (without my knowledge), become a tomboy. I wear basketball shorts, T-shirts, and whatnot. T-shirts- my comfort clothes look weird on me now.

This was absolutely amazing. Keep writing. 


on Jan. 27 2011 at 4:55 pm
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM, Bowling Green, Ohio
32 articles 2 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not about success; it's about significance.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I...am just at a loss for words right now. This is truly amazing. I know exactly how you feel--self-conscious and embarrassed about your body. I've always struggled with that, because I have a very low self-esteem. It doesn't help that people at school have called me fat on more than one occasion. I'm not the biggest girl out there, but I'm not the smallest either. But I'm big enough that I can't wear T-shirts because I bulge way too much in them. It sucks, and I can totally relate to what you're going through.

on Jan. 21 2011 at 6:59 pm
kitkat95 SILVER, Lake Worth, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments
You dont have to be skinny to feel great about your self 

on Jan. 21 2011 at 5:16 pm
softballfreak42 GOLD, Holmdel, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
-DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-A love story gone wrong. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a love story.
-Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
-When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen.

Great story. i can definitely relate, since i'm not the skinny toothpick on the block...

on Jan. 14 2011 at 7:34 pm
Haleyelizabeth, Wallingford, Vermont
0 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen."

i have never struggled with weight, but i think that i can kinda relate - not with weight, but i dont have many good friends. 2 close ones, i never have really gotten picked on that badly but i know people do talk about me. i wish i didnt have crooked teeth. :/

on Dec. 26 2010 at 7:21 pm
kitkat95 SILVER, Lake Worth, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments
wow that was reaaly amazing i cant say i know how yo feel because ive never struggle with weight but i tought it was from when youu were in high school ar now its so shocking to hear how kids feel about thier wwieht

reenay_95 GOLD said...
on Dec. 23 2010 at 10:05 pm
reenay_95 GOLD, West Lafayette, Indiana
16 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't see the stars if you are always looking down.

i remember when i was younger, elementary age, i was always bigger than the other girls. i was wayyy taller and just grew up faster. i wasn't overweight, but i've never been skinny either. but as time went on, other girls got bigger and i felt a lot better. i remember being ashamed to say my weight or pants size, but not anymore.

on Dec. 14 2010 at 6:16 pm
silentvocal SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
5 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't try to fix what isn't broken

this is no doubt true. Yes i do like this article a lot, especially because you can't quite find where it is going, and that the simplicity speaks so much. you write very much in character which is wonderful. this is very real-that is what i like. i know those annoying comments about size, as i am always called "Anarexic" when i know very well i am just rite. people say a picture says a thousand words, i often think vise-versa. and this is what a literature peice should do, paint, and put together a vivid picture in your mind-u have done this for me, so keep writing k. (thumbs up!)

. said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 3:03 pm
wow i loved this article being overweight is nothing to be ashamed of i am one of the "skinnny" girls at school at trust me we dont care what size you wear as long as it looks good on you loved the article

Olivia said...
on Dec. 8 2010 at 12:55 pm
it is a good story. Especially for People who think they need to be the same. No One is the same, no one is perfect.!

t.hampton said...
on Dec. 8 2010 at 12:54 pm
this is really nice, i actually felt the way she would feel throughout the narrative