Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.

***

The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.

***

I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.



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This article has 345 comments.


karla said...
on Dec. 29 2009 at 12:32 am
lol nice hahaha and she prob did lose that weight

karla said...
on Dec. 29 2009 at 12:30 am
i can todally relate to this when i was younger i was fat and now i lost about 20 ponds since then bt i still feel fat beautiful poem and i love the format u put it in

on Dec. 27 2009 at 7:09 pm
AlcinoustheXIIth, Cedar Hill, Texas
0 articles 1 photo 11 comments
Oh dear...this is simply amazing. So thought-provoking, yet so subtle. please continue to write

on Dec. 27 2009 at 1:06 pm
Dandelion PLATINUM, Franklin, Massachusetts
20 articles 8 photos 173 comments
Excellent!

Breingan122 said...
on Dec. 21 2009 at 12:12 pm
Breingan122, Solon, Maine
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments
this was good.

on Dec. 21 2009 at 10:07 am
iloverondo_09 BRONZE, Ypsilanti, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
wow.... this is great, and it's.... real. Lol i thought you were going to end it saying how the girl lost weight and now she fits in or something like that but this was really good.

on Dec. 20 2009 at 10:47 am
beautifully written. I know exactly where you're coming from. Everyone these days thinks that being thin is beautiful and it really isnt -- being beautiful is just being able to be yourself with confidence.

Binte SILVER said...
on Dec. 19 2009 at 6:34 am
Binte SILVER, -, Other
5 articles 0 photos 33 comments
this is really well written :) very subtle and thought provoking. its unbelievable how much girls have to deal with this issue. dont ever let yourself get depressed about this. the more confident you are about your appearence, the better you look :)

songbird GOLD said...
on Dec. 18 2009 at 2:44 pm
songbird GOLD, Norwich, Vermont
15 articles 1 photo 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"He who chooses me must hazard all he hath"-William Shakespeare, Merchant of Venice

My school is very small, and almost all the girls there are skinny. I have had a very hard time trying to feel normal around girls who could pull off size 2 dresses when I wore an 8 or a 10. Don't let it get to you! You should always feel confident about who you are, no matter how you look or how much you weigh. If everybody wore size seven pants, we would all look like clones! If you get teased about your weight, don't blow it off: take it cool, make a joke, and if you are really hurt, you should go to someone about it, like a teacher or a counselor if you can't go to your parents. The beauty of your writing should speak for it's self, and no matter what people say, always no that you are beautiful the way you are, and nobody will ever be the same as you.

on Dec. 16 2009 at 3:45 pm
*D!@mond* BRONZE, Covington, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
*Your ability to do well is always a good thing,but your ability to succed in greatness is always left upon yourself*

there is nothing wrong with being a twelve..im a twelve and im shaped just great..you probally have a nice figure..don't worry about what people think..keep your head up

on Dec. 8 2009 at 11:49 am
thesilverrose BRONZE, Richardson, Texas
1 article 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." -Benjamin Franklin

You are exactly the way G-D made you to be and nothing less. You are beautiful in your own way and very unique. Bless you and keep up the good writing.

on Dec. 5 2009 at 8:45 pm
Babygurl_101 SILVER, N/A, California
8 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Angels are the quiet girls that just havent been noticed yet"
"The past is the past, and i am your futuer." (<3<3<3<3<3)

awwwww.... that was really good writting! there is no reason 2 feel bad, a size 12 isnt bad. it is nothing 2 feel bad bout. beauty isnt just skin deep. i bet you tht u r beautiful!!! kep writting

on Dec. 5 2009 at 7:54 pm
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
51 articles 0 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have faith in fools;self confidence my friends call it"~Edger Allan Poe
"In this world of infinite insanity, your friends are the best psychiatrists you will ever have."~Me

I think I understand what she's saying when she wants to fit in. Everybody at some point wants to fit in. My best friend's brother was extremely weird, always going out of his way to be different. We were looking through his yearbook and on his wish list the only thing he wanted was to be normal.

on Dec. 5 2009 at 4:40 pm
Nathan Collier BRONZE, Willow Park, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
What I'm wondering is why you were concerned with fitting in in the first place. Normal is a terrible place to be. I do like that you're able to express your dissatisfaction so clearly though. Keep up the good work.

sweetsugar said...
on Dec. 5 2009 at 12:48 pm
its amazing i love it your butiful in every way everone is different!

aakriti BRONZE said...
on Dec. 5 2009 at 1:26 am
aakriti BRONZE, NEW DELHI, Other
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
very well written...well it can be very nicely understood..often there are times wen we try to fit in things which we find hard to ..n dat maybe size or groups or friends for that matter too..but in the end it's our determination and not to lose hope in the end that matters

VampyGyrl said...
on Nov. 30 2009 at 10:19 am
I love it! i can relate in many ways trying to fit in a size 7 when you're really a 12

on Nov. 27 2009 at 5:27 am
I can understand how you feel. Im in the same situation except im very thin.

I have a very fast metabolism and its not easy to gain weight. So, at 15, i tend to look like im 12.

And yeah, its really tough to find good clothes.

on Nov. 25 2009 at 2:46 pm
I LOVED it =)

i went through the same thing, I battled with an eating disorder over it. Its not an easy thing for any girl to deal with.

on Nov. 13 2009 at 10:29 pm
peacelover BRONZE, West Milfrod, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Be exactly who you want to be, and love every second of it"

I truly could relate to how you felt by trying to sqeeze into jeans and lying to your mom about them not fitting.. it happens to me all the time too. I hate dressing rooms because I always feel huge when I look into the mirror, but I just tell myself that everyone is beautiful in thier own way - you are too! Don't let typical skinny girls bring you down


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