The LIfe Experience

April 2, 2008
By Anonymous

I never saw it coming something that would change my life forever for the better. One day my friend and I were hanging out in her back yard. We noticed a really cute boy through the fence so we went over to talk to him his name was A-. We met up with him the next day to go to dairy queen for ice cream. He seemed really nice and funny we went to my house after the three of us and played basketball. He met my dad and my dad even liked him. Everything was going great; I couldn’t believe it I felt like I had to be dreaming.
We started to hang out everyday we’d play basketball and watch movies. One day after work he picked me up as usual and took me home my mom invited him to stay for dinner and a movie. She wanted to get to know him so during dinner she sat there and asked him every question she could think of. I thought I was doomed I figured she’d not like him. But to my surprise she liked him she approved of him even though he was 18. I didn’t expect anything out of it except a friendship. After dinner we sat down and watched a movie during the movie he told me he liked me. So I let him into my life. We continued to hang out every day. My mom started to really trust him, she even allowed him at the house when she wasn’t there. She told me she felt I was responsible enough. We even acted like we were dating but we weren’t.
Tuesday night was the races we decided to go we had a lot of fun after the races B-, me and two other friends came over to my house because they didn’t feel like going home. When we got to my house we all sat up stairs and watched TV. I went down stairs and A- followed we were just sitting there talking when one thing led to another. I told him to stop and he wouldn’t he continued he didn’t stop until the fourth time I told him to stop. He got up and went up stairs, I got up got my clothes on and was really scared I didn’t know what to do I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I went back up stairs and acted like nothing happened later that night they all left. He didn’t say much to me he just kissed me goodbye. The next few days I heard nothing from him he wouldn’t talk to me. But I didn’t try to talk to him either. That was on my mind all the time I didn’t know weather or not to tell anyone.
A few days passed and I was sitting at my dad’s house my step mom knew something was wrong because my mom had told her I did nothing but sit in my room all the time and did not want to do anything. We were sitting on the bed and we began talking some how she got it out of me I broke down crying I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I told her I and A- were down stairs the other night when mom was at work and one thing led to another and I told A- to stop and he wouldn’t. She grabbed me and told me it would all be all right, she said we weren’t going to tell dad he didn’t need to know she told me.
She told me to grab my coat and get in the car. We went over to his house and she had him walk out and she told him that it was very rude to take away a girls dignity that is something very special. We left and went to my mom’s house and she told my mom they began to tell me they were going to call the cops and tell my dad we sat there for an hour I began crying more I didn’t want to get him in trouble I just wanted to leave it all alone. But no my step mom had to go and make things worse. We left the house and went back over to his house when we got there I was told to stay in the car. My mom and step mom walked up to the house and asked A- and his mom to come outside. Next thing you know my dad showed up on his bike. Then two cops showed up my mom had called the cops so that my dad didn’t beat the crap out of A- for doing this to his little girl. We sat at A-’s house for what felt like three hours but actually was only an hour. My step mom got back in the car and told me I was going to have to go to the hospital to get checked out and make sure I didn’t have any diseases. I thought to myself haven’t I been through enough. My step mom came back and told me that I was going to have to go to the police department and talk to a cop first. So my dad hopped into the car. I was so scared I felt like a failure to my dad and the whole way there it was silence my dad wouldn’t even look at me. Me my dad, mom, and C- all went to the police department.
When we got to the police department we had to sit in a room until I got called in. When I got called in I had to talk to a guy cop it was very uncomfortable, he made me tell him everything that happened. After I told him everything my dad, C- and me hopped back in the car and my mom followed us to the hospital at this time it was 11:30. The whole ride there my dad still would not talk to me I tried to talk to him but he didn’t say anything back. When we got to the hospital I had to wait in another room the nurse came in and asked me to walk with her.
When we got in the room I had to change into a shirt and lay up on the bed and put my legs up she was going to do a bunch of tests and used a rape kit and I had a pap, in the middle of it I started to cry because I was so scared there was so much on my mind. My mom came in and held my hand and told me it was going to be ok. After they took the test I went back to the room and the nurse came back in and told me I had no diseases she gave me a glass of water and I had to take 20 pills one after another. They were the most disgusting pills and had a horrible after taste. They sent me home and told me to eat something when I got home. My mom offered to take me home but my dad said no he made me go home with him. On the way home my dad talked to me but only a little and it was only to talk to me about something else he had found out, that my uncle gave me and my friend pot and he had found out about it and he didn’t believe. When we got home my dad told me to eat and go to bed.
The next morning I was sitting outside and my dad told me he was going call my grama to talk to her about what he found out. And I would have to talk to my grandma about it when she got home. So a few days later my grandma called me and we talked about I had to apologize and lie to her and tell her that he didn’t really bring pot around us. Because she believed he was the perfect son. I felt like I was going through a horrible time. I lost a lot of friends through this they didn’t believe me that it really happened they thought I called rape on him for no reason. I also did not talk to my dad’s side of the family they did not want anything to do with me they told me that I was worthless and I was a horrible child. There was a rumor going around that I was the girl that called rape and that I just did it for attention. So no one wanted to hang out with me for a few months I went through hell. I felt so alone I didn’t know what to do during that time I spent a lot of time at home all by myself.
One night my mom came in and sat down and told me we needed to talk I knew I wasn’t in trouble I did nothing to be in trouble. She sat down and told me that I had sat around enough and I needed to get out and just do something. I told her that I didn’t have many friends to go and hang out with. She said well call somebody up, so I did I went out for a night of bowling with one of my good friends D-. She brought some other people to hang out with. I was really shy and quiet for most of the night but then D-’s friends started talking to me and I started to open up and we all continued bowling having a really good time. After that night I started to go out more and more and soon I started to make way more friends that even in hard times stuck up for me and were there for me . it was a good feeling to finally have friends again but this time I had more friends than I could ever imagine and they didn’t judge me when they would find out about the rumors going around the were still my friends. Everything was going great till one day I got a letter in the mail that said I was to report to court and testify that this happened I broke down and cried my day was just made horrible. But my mom came and hugged me she told me that it would be ok just tell the judge the truth and everything would be ok. So the day of court I got up and dressed and became extremely nervous. When we got to court my mom and I walked up the stairs and walked around the corner. The people I didn’t want to see either was my dad and step mom there they were to sit in the court room to. I got even more nervous, so we all say in the waiting room for the other case to get over with we waited and waited and waited he never showed up so we didn’t have to go into the court room. He was found and taken to jail for not showing up. We went home and I was told I would not have to go through court again. That was the highlight of the day. We went home and life went on normal.
Until one day when I was on the way to work I saw him he was walking across the road. I began to cry I called my mom and she said that he must have gotten out. I continued to see him but didn’t let it bother me. A few days later I got a letter in the mail saying that he had other charges going against him he had, had sex with a 13 year old and had gotten her pregnant. He was going straight to jail; it was the best thing that had happened in a long time.
Through all this I have gotten stronger I am more out going and more cautious when it comes to relationships and boys. To this day me and my dad don’t have the greatest relationship but has gotten better we talk and I go over there I am allowed to be alone with my dad now, I also have gotten together with my dad’s side of the family and I go over there for family events. But it still hurts knowing that when I was going through such a hard time that my family wouldn’t want anything to do with me because they believed it was my fault. I have gained a lot more friends along the way and some of my friends that I was friends with before have called me and apologized for being so mean and it was wrong of them to do. I go out more now and am more ambitious. When I start a relationship with a guy whose 18, I am very nervous that they will find out about the rape and break up with me but even when they do find out they never have a problem with it. They tell me it’s not my fault that it happened, they’re angry that some one would do that to me. I still hear about him and from what I know of he is still in jail and will be there for some time. It will always be on my mind and I don’t think I’ll ever forget about it but I’ve learned so much from this experience and if and when I have kids I’m going to keep an eye on them. I would never wish this on an one in my life even if I hated them so much.

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