November 29, 2008
By Ruby Ghaffari, San Diego, CA

"New message!" I look at my phone and there it is; the one sentence that I've been longing for the past year. "I love you, come back to me." My mind flashbacked to 5 months ago when you shattered my heart. All those nights of crying myself to sleep and begging for your love and commitment were coming back to me. Yes, I’ve thought about you and I guess deep down I never stopped caring. But why now? 5 months later when I'm in love and in a happy relationship with a man who loves me the way you never did, who does things for me that you would never do. You say you can’t live without me and that you need me. What about me though? I say "it’s not fair for you to expect me to leave my boyfriend." All you say is "I've waited long enough." How can you not understand? You were the one who left me. I didn’t leave you. But of course it’s all my fault. I've prayed to God to make you want me back one day and I just turn my back, like you did to me. However, now that I have the chance....I can’t do it. I can’t turn around. Be careful what you wish for. I just want all this to disappear. I don’t want to hurt you, but I love my boyfriend. You call me in the middle of the night, crying. I feel your pain. I've been there. I wish I didn’t care though. After all, you broke me. Now I'm the bad guy. I'm the one walking around with this guilt hanging over my head. Constantly worrying about you and hoping you don’t do anything stupid. You're so selfish. You never think about me or what you're putting me through. You think it's not hard, but you have no idea. Every time you come back into my life, everything is complicated. So why do I let you back? I just want to let you go....but you hold a great power over me that makes it impossible to. What’s the right thing to do?

I don’t know...

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