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It Happen So Suddenly

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It happen so suddenly I probably would have never been able to stop you even if I wanted to. How was I suppose to know that you was going to end up in a giant car crash a few blocks from my house? I feel so guilty you see, but all the arguments and misunderstandings both made us extremely aggravated, why should I have cared if you left my house, at the time I mean. It kills me inside to not have known that soon something so drastically was going to happen as you suddenly lay there, unconscious in pain.

I think back to the couple of minutes before it all happened. There I was screaming at you from the top of my lungs, infuriated after all you did to me. Waving your phone bill from side to side proving to you how I know you’ve cheated. I was so aggravated and the only thing that popped out of my head where the numbers 6587, the last four digits of your ex’s cell phone number. Yet there you lay on my couch refusing every accusation ever made until I kicked you out of my home, refusing to see your face again. I only wish I could of argued maybe a little bit longer until that big yellow truck was no where in sight.

When you left, I told myself I was too good for you. I tried to tell myself over and over again a man who cheats is no man at all and a woman who forgives would always remain weak. I was trying to keep myself calm, breathing in and out taking a sit where you last sat on. Once I saw the News on TV, the sit still warm from your presence, I instantly knew it was you. All of the anger inside of me had turned into weakness and pain, suddenly so forgiving and vulnerable and so I rushed to see a car dented against a tree and that nasty big yellow truck that smashed it. There you where stuck between the steering wheel and your front window unconscious.
Fortunately the ambulance came on time, and said you might have a chance of surviving. There I was in the ambulance truck, watching your bloody face and your broken leg. The cop said he was driving above the speed limit, sarcastically I wondered why… I knew you for three years, I knew you where driving like a maniac with anger and frustration.

The doctors told me you’d need intensive therapy and that no time soon you will be recovered. I had little hopes you will stay alive, having visited you for six months straight now and everyday the news gets worst. They say you might recover just to put me down he next day to tell me how you been in the emergency room all day. I pray every day for you to get better but I know you will never be the same person again, only a vegetable that could maybe hear me but never respond. Yet, what would be the difference if you will always stay quiet when I would be angry or when I would argue about something?

When I come home late at night after a long day at the hospital, I just sit down and think. Sometimes I feel as if its my fault, I feel as if I should of just let it go. Maybe I made a big deal about it, forgetting how much times you forgave me for my mistakes. Sometimes you will even say sorry for the things you shouldn’t have even taken the blame for. How selfish of me, not to forgive you, for that one little mistake. I wonder if you can hear me, can you hear me? Your fingers do not move. The only reason i know your alive is because this machine, who’s beeping noise has left a permanent rhythm on my mind that lets me know if your still breathing. This little beeping noise is always my only hope.

Visiting you here however, has made me a stronger person. I have realized how precious life could be. No one knows what could happen to us from one minute to the next. You are my reason for realizing how vulnerable and moral people are and how easily wounded we can all become. We are not perfect and mistakes should be forgiven, not for a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Every minute and every second of my life I try to enjoy and try to get just a little more out of it, all because you showed me how easily life can change.


I hope you can understand how much I’m going through right now. I’m sitting here for the last time. Speaking to you from this uncomfortable chair they have provided. I’ve realized you will never wakeup again and you will just remain a vegetable. I’ve also expressed my thoughts and memories. I don’t think there is anything else I can do. If one day you wake up, just maybe you can remember me, and ill come running back to you with love and care. But for now I need to move on, this all happened just too suddenly.



I love you





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