Club Crisis

November 4, 2008
By Anonymous

“Oh my God! I’m so excited that my school has started all of these awesome clubs! I need to join clubs so that it can look good on my college applications! But which to join?! Let’s see. I’d like to go to Brandeis. Someone told me at Brandeis they are really interested in students who want to change the world, and make it a better place. So I’ll join the community service club. On the other hand, Tufts has a huge number of students who study abroad. Maybe I’ll go there. Spanish is spoken in many countries around the world, so I’ll join the Spanish club. But wait! Michigan is a good school that is far away and it sounds like fun. I hear they play soccer there, so I’ll join the Schechter soccer team. Another good club to join would be the film club because at Ithaca College they have a very good film school! Maybe I’ll go there instead. Hold it, I just had another idea. I should join the Hebrew Club because Jewish programs would be good for applying to Baruch University! Wait, I should also join the newspaper club because at Northwestern there is a great journalism school! But what about Yale School of Drama! I should definitely join the Drama Club! I can be an actress; I mean anyone can do that. Oh and how could I forget about Harvard? Elle Woods went there, so I’ll join Mock Trial. I could also join the school choir so that I can apply to the New England Conservatory of Music! Oh, which one should I join? Ugh, this is so annoying- never mind. I’m not joining anything.

The author's comments:
A monologue that evolved from college pressure.

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