When will My Life Begin?

February 6, 2014
What is the definition of life? Is it 45 or 23? Is it the God of the Christians or the God of the Muslims? Is about a God at all? Are we all just wondering around in mess of cells and bad mistakes?
Life has not been that great for me since the beginning, being abandoned and put in foster care for eight years is not an ideal childhood. Personally, I believe God is real to a pen point. I have felt healing and have cried tears of sorrow and regret in his presence. I have had great ideas for ministries to help people but I always backslide nothing in me seems to want to do the right thing. I am starting to think that maybe I am insane. The definitions of insanity is trying the same thing and expecting different results. I have tried over and over to be a good person a good Christian. I always seem to fall short of my own and what seems like God’s expectations. I never been happy and the only place I have felt peace and love is at the altar on my knees begging God to forgive my transgressions and to help me to become all that I want to become. I am tired of all my running and searching for something deeper and I am tired of being depressed and feeling unloved by everyone. I am tired of feeling like a failure to myself. I want to feel peace and love that comes from God above. I do not want religion. I want Jesus. I do not want legalism or liberalism. I want FREEDOM.





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