October 30, 2008
Music plays an important part in my life. I love to listen, play and perform music. I like to listen to music anytime of day or no matter what mood I am in. I like to listen to it when I am sad because it makes me happier. When I listen to music when I am mad it sometimes calms me down but the other times it gets me madder then my mom after she watched John McCain speak. I also love to play music. The music I like to listen to the most is classic metal(like Megadeth, Metallica, Iron Maiden and others) grunge(like Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden and others) and classic rock(like Led Zepplin, the Who and others). I play the bass guitar. I have been playing for around a year and I am really good for how long I have been playing. My favorite music to play is probably metal like Megadeth, Metallica and other classic metal bands. My favorite out of all these things is probably performing music. I love to perform it I am in a band and I am also in a program called the Paul Green School of Rock. This is a program where you learn and perform music. As you see I really like music and it plays a important part of my life and without music my life would be nothing.

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Maria D. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 15, 2009 at 7:39 pm
you have a lot of good ideas here, but i think they could be better united so we can understand where you're coming from easier. For example, all of a sudden you talked about a McCain speech, and i was kind of lost at that point. Also, make sure you have an intro (so we know the setting) and some type of conclusion to wrap your idea up. Don't be afraid to extend your story and talk about each point in a separate paragraph!! this will make your writing fly!!
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