Every once in a while you feel a loss, as if there is something missing; yet you have no idea what it is. Something is missing, but not often at least when you realize it is. Its hard to know what it is even though its easy, you make it seem so hard as if it were impossible. Even though you may look for it and ask about it, you still seem to never find it. It takes nothing to know it because it just is like it is. And there you are sitting on the corner of your room, that little dark corner, but you are crying with tears pouring all over; you seem sad but happy at the same time. You feel like if you need it so bad as if its eating you alive, yet still you have control over it and wont admit the truth, because only you know. Its not as bad as it seems; when it is over you will forget and your memories will reset. After a while you will remember because it is a memory but thats not it because it is something that means alot to you and it is now your possession, your gift; it's what builds up the excitement and energy of happiness. So next time I see you staring out the window at nothing, I will not ask you what is wrong. Because thats just what you want me to do, then you will know I can't help because I don't know how to, you never tell me nor do you ask for my help and will stay quiet. And I will leave and let you figure it out even though its not what it wants you to do.
October 30, 2008