People often times think that Georgia is a hot and humid place with a whole bunch of Hill Billy's who say "ya'll" and don't finish the words when they speak, or they make up substitutes for words like "dis" instead of "this." If they think Georgia is bad, wait until they go to Roanoke, Alabama-where the heat is like a barbeque grill makin' that steak juuust right.

My old folks live in Alabama. Granny and Grandpa is what I call 'em. Sometimes, I'd call my ol' granny squishy cheeks 'cause when i got my hands on those cheeks-pickled pig toes!- I couldn't keep them things off! Yes'm, she would just sit right there in her rocking chair lettin' me squish them cheeks without a care at all in the world.

Grandpa's a jolly fella that I have never seen without a smile on his face. Except, one day when I was bored out of my diddly wits just boucing my ball in front of the porch on the dirt, I made a lil' ol' mistake of bouncing the ball a lil' too hard, and it hit the screen on the door. Next thing I know, big ol' Grandpa Charlie comes waddlin' out on the porch and says,"I'm gonna get Mr.Green on you," and I says back, "Who's Mr.Green?" He slowly puts his hands, which could fit over my entire face and more, on his hips. He sternly but softly says to me, "Mr.Green is that switch on that there tree, and if you hit this screen one mo' time, you and Mr.Green is gonna know each other mighty fine."

I'll never forget that terrifying day. After seeing those evergreen leaves sleeping softly on the hard, rugged, skinny twig, Who was I to wake them up? That day taught me to never on God's green earth and all ever to hit a screen again. If I had, Lord knows Mr.Green and I would have been best friends.