I Thought He Loved Me | Teen Ink

I Thought He Loved Me

October 29, 2013
By Alysia17 GOLD, Wilmington, Delaware
Alysia17 GOLD, Wilmington, Delaware
10 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Hello. I am a 17 year old girl with no father and no life lessons. I grew up with one mom who played both parental roles in my life. My dad left me in my younger years with no good-byes or explanations.
Of course, when I was born, was the happiest day of my parents’ life. They couldn’t wait to hold, kiss, and even name me. “Welcome home baby girl. We love you princess” is what they said to me as I slept ever so softly. As a baby, I kept a joyful smile on my mother’s face. As for my dad I was only able to keep him interested in me for a few short years. As I got older I started to see him less and less.
My first birthday was the biggest birthday party of my life. Both my mom and dad were there to watch me take my first step towards that beautiful and very tasty cake. Of course I loved the fact that both my parents were there for me to watch the most important moments of the beginning of my life. I had everything a one year old girl can want. I had every toy possibly made, my own room, even a toy automobile, but most importantly I had my family. Since my dad was there throughout my first few years, I never thought I would see the day where he would leave me lonely, confused, hurt, and even tear my family apart.
After my fourth birthday I noticed my dad started to lose interest in me. He and my mom would always argue about how he isn’t there enough and how much I needed a father in my life. The less he came around, the more my mom suffered from misery and struggle raising me on her own. That joyful glare I used to see then started to fade. I didn’t quite understand why my dad didn’t love me, but not having my family ruined my childhood. My dad was finally gone after I turned 5 and after that I only saw him yearly periods throughout my coming of age. I really thought he loved me, but I guess I was wrong.
Two years later, my mom met my stepdad. She got pregnant, and had my little sister Saniyah. Now of course, I thought her dad would leave her like my dad left me and I would be left to explain why she has no father. As my sister got older, my stepdad was always around, of course, it took me a while to get used to him because I didn’t want to get too close and he up and leave us. Once I got used to him I figured he is exactly what I wanted in a father. He is always there for me, even though I’m not his biological child.
Ever since I was 5 my stepdad has given me the father figure I never had and I fully appreciate him for that. I am now 17 and I have had the chance to recover and cherish the family I lost when I was younger. I just wish I could see my real dad and show him what he’s missed and tell him that I’m willing to forgive him and build a relationship. Unfortunately that’s impossible because I haven’t seen or spoken to my dad in years. I thought he loved me, but I was wrong.


The author's comments:
My childhood inspired me to write this piece.

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