Back in middle school there was one teacher UNLIKE ANY OTHER. His name was Mr. X. A tall, lanky, and suspicious man, he was the only person that wasn’t well groomed among the staff. He had black eyes, dark black hair, and a thin pencil mustache on his lips. He looked like someone that your parents warned about. You know, the people who want to offer you candy. The only thing this man was missing was a BIG WHITE VAN. His hair was a mess; there were little pieces of dandruff just hanging out in there minding their own business. It looked like snow in his hair. Every time he would scratch his head Snow Mountain would have another avalanche. He wore this really old hat that everyone thought was where he hid his drugs. The ironic part was, he taught the TOUGHEST, HARDEST, and SOUL-KILLING class of my middle school, the lovely steel drums- a class devoted to learning how to make music from Steel Pans.

Steel pans was basically a class where people would take sticks and smash them on pans. These pans came along with two sticks and each part of the pan made different sounds. Just imagine a bunch of 13 year olds who came from math class and were handed sticks and the pans were just lying around. It was horrendous. People would scream, as they would smash the pans. It’s like the pans did something horrible, and the kids were taking it out on the pans.

The first period he actually taught was 3rd, which started at 10:30. Now, Mr. X. was a little too cool to show up on time. He preferred to be late to class, everyday. Students waited outside in the thunderstorms. One day, he arrived with five minutes left of class, casually walking with sunglasses, shorts, and a t-shirt. It’s F***ING FREEZING. Why would you wear sunglasses in the rain? He made it to the door to let us in and said, “Great work today guys.”

The class’s favorite thing to do was to ask questions to Mr. X. to see his reactions. The first half of class consisted of 30 kids asking him inappropriate questions. It was Q & A with a snowflake teacher.


“Mr. X, have you ever done drugs?” asked Joe.

“Well, let’s not get in to that right now, ya know what I mean?” replied Snowflake.

“What’s underneath your hat, are you trying to hide something?” asked David.

“It’s just a hat, just like yours” replied Snowflake.

“Mr. X, why are you always late?” asked Mary.

“ Traffic,” replied Snowflake.

“Why don’t you leave earlier than?” asked Mary.

“Good question; I don’t plan that far ahead,” replied Snowflake.


You know when you get excited to go open presents during Christmas? This was exactly the same for the kids. Kids would be rehearsing during break to ask him questions for 3rd period. Everyone in the room was screaming, leaving class, asking stupid questions, or drawing penises on walls. Looking back now, I realize that destroying school property and doing graffiti penises were just uncalled for because our parents donated their hard earned money for these renovations and tools.

Movie day was the only way he could control the people in the class. The TV screen on which he played the movies was this outdated monitor he found in the dumpster. The brand was something like “Zenith”. Right, I haven’t heard of it either. The DVD’s he would play are older than time itself. You know when the movie is old when the people in the movies wear kilts, short pants, and no one had cell phones. When he would play this old DVD on the TV half the screen would be missing, no joke, it was gone. I had a very IMPORTANT, URGENT, AND PRESSING QUESTION THAT WOULD BENEFIT THE ENTIRE CLASS. I raised my hand.

“Yes Daniel, what’s your question,” asked Snowflake.

“IS THIS HD?” I asked.

The entire class erupted in laughter.

“You know what, you can go outside and take a breather, I feel like you need to check yourself,” replied Snowflake.

I have realized that Mr. X. was just an oblivious teacher who had the best intentions for his class. Despite his hazy past he wanted to start a new future with teaching something he has always had a passion for and who was I to judge him? I felt bad for participating in the class’s shenanigans but couldn’t help how funny it was. Mr. X. was a nice teacher at heart and he deserved better.