Today was a day that called for strength. It called for hope and faith and love. Today was a long day, filled with many obstacles. Some of which I could not fulfill. It was a day when you realize pain is never going to leave you, its always going to be close by ready to catch you at your weakest. Ready to hold you until someone comes to pull you out. I found hope today in a fictional character. She helped me see that sometimes you have to be ok with the situation whether you are or not because in the end there’s nothing else you can do. You can’t go back and change it, you can’t go back and erase it, you just have to accept it. I also learned today that it’s ok to feel the pain. It’s ok to be hurt as long as it doesn’t become a disease. As long as it doesn’t capture your true self for so long that you cant find it again, as long as it leads you to hope, because it will, through family, through friends, through images, and through speeches. Maybe pain isn’t as bad as we all think it is. Maybe it’s not bad at all. When we hear the word pain automatically our mind thinks: bad, hurt, upset. Maybe that’s one perspective of pain maybe that’s one persons look on pain that was somehow created into a domino effect. I could be wrong but pain can also be a healer. It can help you move forward in not creating the same mistakes again, in not letting yourself go in farther than is realistic for you. The world today is so negative. Maybe if we just stopped looking at the negatives of things we could see all the positives; but then again maybe not. It’s your choice, it’s your feeling, and it’s your belief.
September 3, 2008