What Matters??

September 13, 2008
By Joshua Barber, Tucson, AZ

In a world where anyone is available at the click of a mouse, and people are even carrying miniature computers in their own pockets, what is really set in stone? In a world as chaotic as this, I can hardly fathom what my life’s going to be like in the future, let alone what matters to me on the highest level. I can merely explain the things that mean something to me. For now… I’m a writer. It’s my passion, like a candle burning the wax away, everlastingly. It’s never ending, the portrayal of my passion, day in and day out, despite the fact I may enjoy other things. Writing’s my outlet and I hope it becomes more than that someday. My point is, that people always try to run circles around their problems and perils, but most people barely open their eyes, or their ears for that matter. And… I believe that if someone would just hit them with something powerful, like a fire hose of words describing how naïve they all seem to be, that maybe-just maybe-they’d wake up, smell the flowers, and stop living their little fantasy lives, never really knowing what actually matters.

T.V is not an answer to any of life’s problems. In fact, people are brainwashed by commercial advertisements more so than by the shows they watch. Who can be sure if there are not even subliminal messages hidden deep within our average viewings of the day? Because with anyone in the world at the click of a mouse, and knowledge being outdated all the time, there’s no telling whether someone could be walking down their
own driveway, or truly lost in a foreign place… Apparently, nobody knows.

People fight and bicker about an array of things. Religion, for instance, is a topic on a lot of people’s minds. Everyone thinks they’re right and no one thinks they’re wrong. Personally I could care less what anyone’s spiritual preference is. I’ll not go into my own, but I know I’m right. Everyone has a choice, and if you choose to believe what you believe, then that’s just roses with me. For a brief insane moment, when we mourn it seems like everyone’s on the same side… but honestly, since you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, you can’t judge a person by their demeanor, or anything for that matter. Not what they say, not anything. I’ve been reading a book called “Kite Runner”. Apparently-something I didn’t realize being the eager reader I am-it’s a very popular book, and a good one at that. I try to avoid opinions-even my own- because there’s no truth in them, other than the fact that the opinionated person believes just that, their own opinion. No matter, whether they base it on fact or not that’s all it is.

Being the little hyperactive youngster I so reluctantly am, I drifted off a bit in the last couple sentences, but don’t fear, I will fine-tune my little speech here. My point is, with all the politicians and shim-sham talkers, coaxers and swindlers there’s truly nothing set in stone. There are bad people out there and that matters to me. People should have good morals, being vain is being useless. In fact, some people don’t even feel guilt for the things they do, and that’s beyond me own personal beliefs. To get ahead in life, is to lose your life at the same time. People these days are selfish and narcissistic, and I’ve been selfish, but I’ve learned that the wheels of justice grind slowly.

I know I rant and rave about some things and I’m definitely no politician-HAHA-and I could care no less about popular opinion, but if no one points out the dirty laundry, then it’ll never get cleaned. One thing I don’t understand is, why on God’s green earth anyone in his or her right mind would approve of killing someone. Because they say, if you hate someone, you’ve already killed them, in your heart. If someone murders someone, I believe their life should go, eye for an eye, don’t get me wrong. To truly hate someone though, is hard. I mean you literally have to try to hate someone, unless they’ve seriously ‘left bunk milk in your fridge’ or done you completely wrong. At least… it’s hard for me to hate.

Emotion’s a choice, and I understand that everyone gets angry, I’ve got my own anger problems. However, people are always saying they lost control because of their anger, or because they fell in love, and fell for being gullible. OPEN YOUR EYES!
I snap at people sometimes but, every single little minuscule thing you do, you ultimately made the choice to do-there may be foreign influences, such as someone putting a gun to your head-but no matter what… you still have free will. Think about it, they call life a giant game of chess for a reason, you have a choice, and planning for things, observing, that’s all part of being one step ahead of things. Let me leave you with a little cliffhanger, think about this-If everyone in the world put as much effort into truly controlling themselves, and making life easier for the rest of us, as they do trying to climb the latter, take a shortcut, basically trying to get ahead in life… we’d be in a perfect place, sinners or not.

Purely assumption, but I think my readers would like to know a little about me. I’m 15 years old and I attend high school. I am not the best storyteller in the world nor am I even to be considered a good child, and reluctantly that’s what I am. I grew I with… well I’m not even entirely sure whom I was with throughout the first years of my life. I know I spent much of my early life with my mom, but there’s a story behind every door is there not? Well I love my life, but it’s must look like M.C Escher’s Relativity inside my head. No doubt about it, I love my life and everything’s a gift no matter how it’s wrapped, hence the reason they say what doesn’t kill us will only make us stronger. I had to have been with my mom and dad for the first 4 years of my life, of most I can’t recall, but knowing my parents, I had to of been flip-flopping between the two of them like a fish out of water. I have a couple of scars from that era, maybe a couple of passed on, embarrassing stories and that’s all the proof I have of that past. One day… one night rather, I was separated from my dad when a fight broke out between my mom and dad, my mom had to of been using drugs. My mom took me with her and my dad was definitely on the sharp end of the stick. I was left hanging on the back burner, confused and unknowing. Unaware at the time, my dad was assaulted by my mom that night, bitten and bruised, but he never touched her. All he did was call out for help and try to hold her at arms length, which unfortunately failed, miserably. I was abused and emotionally shut out the next (what seemed to be almost a year of my life at the time) few months of my life. I was later put into a foster home after that period of time. Sad and lonely, still unaware, one day, I was thrown a curve ball, my maternal grandfather showed up and surprised me by taking me into his custody. Well apparently, my grandfather tracked down my dad and reunited us. I was so happy.

I can hardly remember certain parts of my life, and other parts always bring tears seeking gravity down my cheeks. I’ve grown up in a bad neighborhood, been in plenty of fights and even got busted for marijuana and paraphernalia. You could say I’ve not been a good child all my life, disappointing not just to me. I used to get exceptional grades until about 7th grade and then I started slacking and causing mishaps. I used to be a very violent child in my young age, and my father thought I was going to be a slugger. Instead I ended up a scrawny little poet, and I didn’t even know it.

So in my experiences, I’ve inexplicably learned right from wrong and it’s encoded in my brain, like a file saved on a computer, except I’ll never forget. I try to stand up for the right things and even though I’ve been a sinner just like us all, I’d knock any wife beater on his ass sooner than I’d crack a smile to any corny joke just to please someone, because doing the right thing matters much more than making people comfortable. I personally believe that one of the things that truly matters-not all the hot topic or the ‘he said, she said’-but what really matters, is that people do what is right and avoid, rather, fight off what is wrong, like an overprotective father watching over his daughter like a hawk. And every time I think about how much of a little liar I’ve been or the things I’ve stole, just out of spite, or anger, it makes me think about a song. That song is sung by ‘Nickleback’ a rather popular band, a song called “If everyone cared”. The lyrics read as following, “If everyone cared, and nobody cried, and everyone loved, and nobody lied, and everyone shared and swallowed their pride, then we’d see the day… when nobody died.” It’s very poetic, very touching, very close to home, gets me like a quick jab to the heart, or more like a firm poke in the side, but touches my heart nevertheless. Maybe people should put a little more thought into their decisions. Then again, what do I know, I’m just a confused teenager?

I don’t know if I made a difference in anyone life, in fact I’d be happy if what I wrote just got someone’s mind in a grip, like a mouse stuck in a mouse trap. I could say, “Hey what’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” But, I was challenged to write an essay about the things that really matter to me. On a day-to-day basis, I’d have to say, that it’s just the little things that really matter, whether it’s a little birthday card once every time the occasion comes around, or a nice pat on the back when you’ve done something right and no one else recognizes. If everyone went of out their way to do something to brighten someone else’s day up, just one person, then the world wouldn’t have all these intertwining problems, love over war, care over hate. Nevertheless, life’s more than just a walk in the park, or a rat-race with others always trying to pull ahead of the pack. I don’t know if you noticed-and this isn’t my opinion here-but there are flowers and birds and trees and clouds and so much more, all in your local park. Sit down and think about stuff. Life’s more than just work, and school and whatever else on your agenda.

Work, play, and live.

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