To the Class of 2009

By
There’s an epidemic spreading through the class like the rumors of the last three years. It’s inevitable and unstoppable. It takes hold of its victims and as of yet, there have been no leads on finding a cure. Or any senior interested in looking for one for that matter. Is this plague permanent? Fatal? Does anyone care? Doubtful.

Senioritis, by definition: chronic inflammation of the senior. There are no antibiotics, anti-inflammatory pills, or vaccines readily available to the public. There have not been any cases of people with immunities to the disease. Everyone it touches is affected in some way, shape, or form. The teachers and parents who have witnessed the effects of this deadly pestilence are searching desperately and without success for a cure.

The class of 2009 seems to be incapable of displaying the expressions of eagerness, concentration, and concern that are represented on the faces of the freshmen, sophomores, and juniors. In fact, it’s difficult to find a senior with any interest in, well, anything at all. That’s aside from plans for the weekend, deepness of tan lines, and price tags on homecoming dresses of course. These things seem to grow in significance while the importance of homework, note taking, listening, and studying shrinks quickly and without end.

While many lose sleep over the issue (many, obviously, not including any members of the Class of ’09) others have seen this in the past and aren’t surprised by its reoccurrence. Experts (if you can refer to teachers using such a respectful word) claim that it will eventually end. While no known plague of this kind has ended before graduation day, parents continue to hope and pray for their formerly ambitious, little children to return to normal as soon as possible.

It seems unavoidable that every senior class will go through this, with the same disinterest and lackadaisical attitude as the previous. It’s the culmination of three years of becoming more confident and more at home in these halls. Our growing confidence has resulted in unrivaled slacking off in all its glorious indolence. We now have the ability to legitimately not care. The fake indifference we feigned in the previous years seems so incredibly transparent compared with this lazy, blissful reality.

So all you wonderful seniors who do such a fantastically good job of procrastinating and remaining idle throughout, stay strong. Graduation’s coming. It’ll all be over soon enough.





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