In my mind, seeing your friend die would really suck. I would lose every ounce of spirit, every smile in me, and would probably never be the same again, well, at least for awhile. Sure, it would all come back, at least for awhile. Sure, it would all come back, but I would miss my friend. Seeing my friend in so much pain, and knowing what to do, and then to watch him shoot himself would probably kill me. It would impact me and leave deep footprints in my heart.