Meg is a Frequent Patron of the Library...

August 28, 2008
Meg is a frequent patron of the library. I have never seen her check out any books though; she is here for one sole purpose, to use the computer. This particular night was of big importance in the world of Meg, she was printing out her resume! Now a little background is needed on Meg because if you didn’t know that she is forty five or has blonde colored hairs above her lip it wouldn’t be as funny. Meg has been working on her resume, since I was born (1991)!, this past statement maybe false but she has been working on it, as far as I know, since late June and it’s almost September. The night in question I didn’t even notice that Meg had entered the library for if I had I would have gone to hide in the stacks to patiently await her departure. Meg arouses this feeling in many people, her nature can be ascribed in one word, annoying. When Meg comes to use the computer she asks me questions from the moment she logs on until the time when I log her off. On the resume printing night, Meg walked up to me and asked if there were any computers available, because I always have to glance at her mustache it takes me a few seconds to tell her that there are no computers free in the lab, but to try up front. She then asks me if the printer up front is an ink-jet or laser, I had no idea but went with ink-jet. I should have told the truth and said I didn’t know because her next question was which type of printer would be better for printing a resume. I then asked her if the resume contained any pictures because if not it doesn’t make a difference which she uses. She said it didn’t contain any pictures and went to use the computers in the front. I was so pleased to have gotten rid of Meg after only two questions that I didn’t consider the fact that she might return. And return she did, just like American soldiers to the Middle East , there was Meg not five minutes later trouncing back to my desk. The first words out of her mouth were, “I need help”, and I really felt like saying, “yeah, I know”, but I used all the self control I could muster to squeak out, “oh, really with what”? She then explained to me how this morning she had made a special trip to the copy store and had bought two pieces of stationary that would make her resume ‘pop’. She told me how the printer had printed someone else’s work, which is a common issue because of multiple computers sharing the same printer. I told her that I could give her another piece of paper to reimburse her for the one she had lost. She informed me that the lady at the front had given her a new piece, but she only had one more piece of stationary paper and her resume had to be on this paper. So Meg asked me to come to the front to make sure it was her resume that was printed on her stationary paper, the way she stated this made me feel like I was being asked to deliver a baby. I got up from my chair to follow Meg to her computer all the while thinking that I had never delivered a baby and if I messed up Meg might strangle me, the copy store had closed and she needed this in the mail tomorrow. I checked the printer queue on her computer and told she was already to print. I then turned to leave, when she stopped me and said she would like it if I stayed. I had no interest in seeing her newly born resume, but being the good public servant I am told her I’d be pleased to stay. The printer started up and out come Meg’s resume all three fourths of a page. And all I could do was suppress yet another laugh and wonder what would have happened if another myspace picture had printed instead.

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