time to grow up

May 28, 2008
We all change at different times in our lives. When we grow older we become more independent and need less of our parents. Some may become more independent at a younger age and some an older age, It all depends on your upbringing. I had to learn how to become independent at a young age.

I was very young when it all started to happen. I was probably about six when my parents really started to fight a lot and considered divorce. They started to fall apart and so did my mom. My mom was always the one to take care of us when we were younger. She would always help me get dressed; make us breakfast and get our lunches ready. Then when her and my dad were having problems she fell into a deep depression. She was always in bed. If I needed her for anything I knew where to find her…In her room asleep. At the time I didn’t know what this meant, I was still so young. I was about eight when things really started to get bad.

One night I was home with my brothers and I had been missing my dad. So I went into the bathroom where he had normally kept all his stuff but none of it was there. So I went to his closet but it was empty. At first I did not know what this meant, but then it clicked… he had moved out. No one had told me. It was sad that I had to find this out on my own. I had to find out a lot on my own at such a young age, like the time I caught my dad cheating. We had just been to the doctor for my brother. My dad’s office was right by the doctor so we would occasionally drive over there with my mom to go see my dad and visit the pond that was behind my dad’s office. We always liked to look at the swans. This day was different though, little did we know we were not only going to be watching the swans. My brother Nick and I (who are 18 months apart and have always been extremely close) had a head start; we were so excited, racing to see who could get there first. Then what stopped us dead in our tracks as if we were hit by a brick wall was the sight of my dad and some blond woman holding each other while making out. The setting sun was shining on them so bright as if they were under a spot light. At this time I was five, my brother Nick was seven, and then there was my brother Vince who was eleven.

This is just one example of most of my childhood memories. Because of instances like this I had to learn to grow up fast and become independent on my own. I was never really able to be a worry free kid. I always was stressing over something as a child. I knew my dads temper and how anything could set him off at any minute. This was a constant worry I had. If there was a neighborhood block party and my parents were not there I knew where to find them, at home fighting. My brother Vince’s first attempt to suicide was at the young tender age of eleven. Its sad my brothers and I had to go through this at such a young age and it carried on for so long but it only made us stronger people. We were never handed anything like most kids. We have always had to work for what we want. I do not know what kind of person I would be if I didn’t have the experiences I had to make me have a thicker skin. There is something good that comes out of every situation, I am more mature and independent I feel because of the past I had.

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