Two Kinds of Love

December 8, 2012
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We have a short life on this earth. So we live it to the fullest. We have a short life on this earth, so we strive to enjoy every moment. We have a short life on earth so we love. However, living a life of lies, and false love is the easiest way to waste the life you've been blessed with. There are two kinds of love in this world. Infatuation and true love. Yet these kinds of love are indistinguishable from each other when one finds themselves in the midst of them.

Striking similarities exist between infatuation and true love. Both illicit happiness, lust, and a longing for togetherness. And the loss or defeat of either, evokes the most soul-crushing moments in one's lifetime. Both are the purveyors of radical behavior with regards to obsession and fantasy, which is what renders them indistinguishable in early stages. True love will give rise to the same feelings as one experiencing infatuation, but the love marked by infatuation will never evolve.

What is love at first sight? Does it exist? Is it real? Love at first sight is not real love. Love at first sight is the essence of infatuation and false affection because it is not, nor will ever be an accurate interpretation of a person. Infatuation is different from true love because it does not last. This kind of love is like a dream. Sometimes it's there, sometimes its not. When it is, it can be amazing and perfect like blissful dreams of happiness, romance, or inspiration; or it can be painful and frightening like a nightmare. But most importantly—it's not real. You will wake up eventually. A year ago, I told my friend that I met this guy and talked to him and I knew instantly that he was “the one.” I told her that I felt a spark. I told her that it meant something special when our eyes met. I told her—that I loved him. Four months later, defeated and in tears, I woke up and came to her again. I told her he was a terrible person. I told her I hated him. I told her that loving him had ruined my life. I told her I stumbled in life, and I fell in love. Thankfully she was there to catch my numb soul. Next time, I may not be so lucky. This is the infernal blaze of false love that has charred and blackened my heart. I will never believe in love at first sight or fall prisoner to the tempting delights of infatuation. Infatuation is nothing. It is inferior. It is merely what resides in the voluminous shadows that are cast by the sturdy rock of true love. A rock which is eroded by rain and wind, fighting and failures—yet still stands firm.

True love is unconditional. True love is loving someone when they are weak. It is loving someone when they are wrong, not just when they appear perfect, and strong. It's hard to place a single definition on it because it is molded differently in the lives of each person; everyone breathes love differently. True love is not love at first sight, it's the vines of love intertwining and climbing higher upon the lattice of life. It is not infatuation, it is not signified by marriage or formal agreements, it's the twinkle in your eyes when he smiles and the shared moments of laughter and joy. It is not kissing or passionately making love, it's having a special friend who loves you eternally and would go to the end of the earth and back just to see you smile. For me, it's laying in the arms of someone who can warm me when I'm cold, protect me when I'm defenseless, and console me when I'm sad. For me, it is walking on the beach in the glow of the moonlight and recalling vivid memories of our past and creating new ones in the present. True love is lasting, and the severing of such an emotional bond results in unshakable sorrow. Sorrow of which has been branded upon the tainted soul with white hot iron, scarring you for life in a way that leaves a reminder of the brilliance that once was, but that cannot be.

True love and infatuation are feelings that can be confused. Both lead to marriage, but how many of those marriages last? Being infatuated with someone is so vastly different than loving them. . .yet, it can feel so similar which is what is dangerous. Wisdom, friendship, and divine inquest are the only way to avoid the shadows of infatuation, and thrive in the glorious light that shines so brightly upon the weathered rock of true love.

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