I've taken up the habit of listening to music every night before I go to sleep. Teenage feelings combined with music creates a magical place where I go to every night to indulge every feeling to its extent. It's like I've found a gate another world. I kind of like it even more than childhood, because you can actually remember everything and go back whenever you want. I remember, after watching "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", I spent two complete days thinking about him, it was crazy! And the craziest thing - which is when you come to know me - was that I decided to let go for once and not fight back. I hadn't started school by then too. But since I have, I sort of think of him every night instead..Lol. It's crazy, but it's amusing and harmless at the same time. It's not wrong to let go, when it's harmless. I know it's just a temporary crush, so I sort of walk in the door whenever I need a refreshing place. It's amazing, how it feels when you're a teenager listening to music, it becomes an equalizer of feelings. No wonder you scarcely find any teenager without a headphone, it has sort of become an extension of the mind or a short circuit between the internal feelings and the oppressed external ones. In other words, you are materializing your feelings into something you can absorb as well as cause, making it an endless circuit of tireless emotions. Consequently, I figured out an easy way to control which feeling I want, to just play a song relevant to it repeatedly! It could be a head start off on the way to controlling your feelings wholly. It's not a healthy habit to oppress feelings even though feelings rarely flow in harmony with thoughts or principles, but rather the complete opposite. It's a way to release the steam to let go every once in a while... You cannot stop which feelings you are having, you can only control the way you act accordingly and partially how you are affected by it mentally. Did you once stop and consider that maybe we are supposed to feel these things and think about them more often than in adulthood as a way of preparation? I mean, if you actually go to the extent, then you can go back and stop at the point you want later on. Thinking the extreme makes you arrive at the final level. It's like when you're playing a video game, once you've finished, you can afterwards jump between levels as easily as flipping the pages of a revised curriculum is!
Circuit of Feelings
September 27, 2007