Those Who Share That Nervous Feeling

June 26, 2008
By Erin Singer, Poway, CA

It is finally the summer of 2008. This last school year went surprisingly fast, and I am dually surprised to say that I am devastated to see it end. I was finally totally adjusted to middle-school, and then by some heartless force from the heavens, it ended. It's over. Personally, I'm not at all excited for high school. I find change difficult and frustrating. Why should I have to start all over? (Rhetorical question please, don't go telling me that we have to grow up and move on..) Regardless, I'd really rather not. I'm fond of my life right now and I'm anxious to the changes that high school will bring. I'm ashamed to say that I am actually intimidated by the idea of going to high school. Everything is bigger. The students are bigger, the doorways are taller, the ceilings are higher, the courses are tougher, the classes are more important, and as if to top off my nervousness, even the plants are taller than I am. At least at Twin Peaks we had measly bushes.. and shrubs.. not that this is really the issue at hand. Altogether, I'm concerned that I'm already beginning to worry. Typically, I tend to get more nervous as change nears. I remember that I didn't want to go to middle school either. I cried the night before. And as if to show my maturity, I cried before starting elementary school too. And kindergarten. So basically, my perspective of how I feel about change hasn't really altered at all. Ultimately, I find that the most jarring thing about changing schools is that it's the blaring red light that informs me that I'm growing up. I suppose that the true problem can be tracked to the fear of maturing. I don't want to grow up, and if it was possible, I would never ever get older. Perhaps the fear of maturity comes from the saying, "With age comes responsibility." Well, maybe I don't want responsibility... maybe I liked the days when I could play on the McDonald's playset rather than do homework. (For the record, apparently I am too old for the playset now..)

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