143 | Teen Ink

143

June 13, 2008
By Anonymous

It was a 90-degree day and the sun was blazing down onto the rose garden courtyard, where the 2005 street jam was taking place. I had spent the whole weekend watching 3,000 boys play basketball, and being only a 14-year old girl it was like heaven. The last two days one particular guy had caught my eye. I was far to shy to talk to him, so I kept my distance from him until the last day of the tournament when he came up and asked me to play a game of horse.
“Hey, I’m Luke. Travis’s brother.” He said as he reached for a handshake.
“Ugh. Hi I’m Ebony. Nice to meet you.” I managed to fumble out.
He chuckled then said “A game of horse?”
“Sure. Playing for anything?” I asked.
“Yes.” He replied.
“What?” I asked back with a look of confusion.
“Your number.” He said with a smile on his face as he walked to the middle of the court.
“My number?” I coughed up.
“Seriously if you win I give you mine. If I win I walk away with yours.” He answered back with a smile.
“Sure I guess.” I replied trying to act as if I didn’t want it, yet beaming with delight on the inside.
We played for about 45-minutes, and being the gentlemen that he was he let me win. I took down his number and told him that I might call. Yet I had all intentions to text him as soon as he walked away. We embraced for the first time and exchanged good byes. I watched as his too good to be true self, with golden skin, and bright almond brown eyes walked back to tournament. For the rest of the night I couldn’t help but smile and from then on I don’t think I ever stopped smiling.
We met at the end of July, and from the moment we saw each other we had a spark enlighten in both of our hearts. From then we were with each other every waking hour. I remember it as if it were yesterday; Luke and I had been spending the last month together because he was moving to California with his best friend at the end of the August. It crushed me, because we had just met, and I was so in love with him and Luke. He and I were so much more then just a couple but one another’s best friend, we did everything together and even established our own song, which he sang to me every night on the phone. I loved our playful and serious relationship more then anything else at the time.
The last day we spent together before he moved, was so romantic and more then I could have asked for. We were swimming, and just enjoying one another’s company. I had known in my heart eventually things would end, and I had started crying before Luke had even said that he wanted to break-up. He looked at me and started to sing.

“So many times I've brought roses, just to see that smile on your face. I can't remember how many e-mails I’ve sent you, just to tell you about my day. There aren't many more ways in words that I can say. So I'll just say numerically from my soul to you, 143.”

I started crying even more, because it was our song. I looked into Luke’s light almond eyes, and coughed up, “Luke I knew this time was going to come. So just say you want things to be over and we will just end it there.”

“Break-up? Are you out of your mind Ebony? He replied back to me.

“Yea isn’t that why you asked me to come over here today? I asked.
“No. There is nothing more I want then being with you.” Luke said as he held me in his arms.
“Really?” I asked back with a surprised look on my face.
“Yes because I know in my heart we are meant to be. I am not ending things with you, because truthfully you and I are just getting started.” He replied back to me as he embraced me for the last time before he left.

Luke moved, and once again I felt alone. He was my best friend, my boyfriend, and my love. It was so hard, to be away from him, but somehow we lasted. He was in California for a dreadful 10 months. During that period of time I became anorexic and was for nine long months, yet the results were beautiful. I had dropped from a heavy and ugly 160 pounds, to slimming and envious 120 pounds. I hadn’t told anyone that I had a disorder, and while the results were showing I hide under sweatshirts and sweats. All I had known was that I wanted Luke to be in love with me as much or more since the last time we had seen each other.

Nine months passed and it was soon my 15th birthday, Luke had just told me he was moving back to Oregon, so we could stay together. I was so happy, and I knew for sure he would love my new body. He came home June 4, 2006 and tears rushed down my face as I ran into his arms. After a long embrace I noticed Luke just staring at me. It wasn’t until July though that he confronted me about my weight. We were sitting in his car after a date and the sun was setting low behind the trees. Luke grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

“Ebony, why are you doing this to yourself? You are so thin, and I don’t get why you are doing this.” He asked me.

“Doing what?” I asked.

“Doing what? This thing you are you doing to your body” He answered back.

I started to cry, and mumbled, “I thought you wanted this. I did this because you deserve a girlfriend who is beautiful.”
“I loved you from the first day we met. One of the many things I loved about you was your physical appearance, and self-confidence.” He answered back as a tear rolled down his cheek.

For the first time in the year I had been with Luke, this was the first time I had ever seen him cry. The car windows started to fog up from the moisture our tears created.
He continued holding my hand and explained to me, “I loved you for you, and not your physical looks. Your looks however were and still are beyond beautiful.”
“So you didn’t think I needed to loose weight or change?” I asked.
“Have I ever told you that you needed to loose weight?” He answered back.
“No. You never complained about my looks.” I said.
“It kills me to know I made you hurt yourself.” He replied back.
“It wasn’t you Luke. I did it because I wasn’t happy with myself.” I snuffled out.
“No somewhere I did something. I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t care or love you if you weren’t beautiful enough.” Luke said, as he let go of my hand and just sat in his seat for a few minutes starring off into the night sky.
“I guess all I can say is sorry baby.” I finally said trying to break the silence.
“Ebony Nicole Jones, know that I fell in love with you for the person you were inside not who you were on the outside.” He responded back as he gently set his hand on top of mine.
We sat in his car for a few hours, and by the time we were finished talking the stars filled up the night sky. After a long year of hardships yet love we decided that the best thing for both of us was to break up. He kissed me one last time, and I opened the car door and we went our separate ways.


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