She asked me what to do and what on earth her family had done to deserve this. It was difficult to keep the tears from coming but there was no way I could give in, let my emotions out like the ones surrounding her. LOOK HERE, a dark black X taped onto the wall above her head seemed to stabilize my emotions as I searched frantically for the words she needed so desperately to hear. “Everything happens for a reason” was the only line I managed to blurt out. I wondered if it was because I had been told this so many times before or if I truly deep down believed it. I proceeded to tell her this would make her even stronger – although she'd been through enough already – and it was only right that things would look up. It was that moment, however, as she looked up at me that I'd realized it wasn't the first time I'd told her this. The happy-go-lucky, beautiful, outgoing, always trying to make you smile girl was nowhere to be found. “God,” she said, “I feel like I've been to Hell and back twice.” Her eyes were so full of sorrow, anger, confusion and a growing sadness that could make even the toughest men look away. Instead I reached over and hugged my best friend, and explained that her chocolate fondue pot she gave me for Christmas was about to finally have a purpose.
May 6, 2008