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My biggest Fear
“Lacey Weatherly please come to the office, Lacey Weatherly to the office.” Now what? I didn’t do anything this time. I was in class. As I walk in the office door I see my step-dad. His face was red, it looked like he was mad or something. “Lacey, your mom is in the hospital.” my mouth dropped.
I felt my eyes start to flood. Tears ran down my face. “Is she ok? What happened?” I screamed. “She is puking up blood and has high blood pressure. We need to pick up Tanner and MaKayla.” I felt my body get weak. The only thing that I could think about was “what if this is the last time I see my mom? What about Tanner and MaKayla?”
As I get in the school, I see Tanner and MaKayla. The look on their face made me cry even harder than I already was. MaKayla came up to me and grabbed my hand. A little five year old, knowing that something is wrong, grasps on tight. “What’s wrong sissy?” Kayla asked. “Mommy is sick.” I glance over at Tanner and see him turn.
“Come on, we have to go. Dads outside in the car waiting for us.” I grab Tanner and MaKayla’s hand. When we arrive at the hospital, I take a few deep breaths, walk towards the building and consider myself ready to see my mom. Little did I know, I lied to myself.
I walk in the room and see her lying there, motionless, eyes closed, tubes in her, and not able to respond to anything. My eyes start to look around the room. The monitors and cords are all that I have to see to realize that my mom is sick. Hours pass but they feel like seconds.
My mother still has not moved. It is time to go. I walk up to her and take her hand, afraid to touch it because I might break her. I gently raise it to place it in my own hand. “Mom, I love you. Get better soon.” I whisper in her ear. I lean forward and kiss her cheek. The smell of her perfume and hospital overwhelm me with fear.
I don’t want to leave her alone. What if this is it? What if she dies right there? Will she wake up? I have never thought about losing the only person that really understands who I am. My mother. What would I do? A few days later my mom was able to come back home. She was doing well it seemed. Still, she kept going back to the hospital.
One day after school as I was riding my bike home, I had heard sirens. The next thing I saw was an ambulance. “Please don’t turn on my street.” Sure enough it turned on my street. In a panic, I raced home trying not to fall off my bike. As I turn on my street, I see the ambulance in my yard. I jumped off my bike, and ran inside screaming.
“Where is mom?” tears ran down my face. Mandy, my older sister came to my side and tried to calm me down. “She is upstairs in the bathroom. She is sick again.” The words “sick again” kept on replaying in my head. About five minutes later the paramedics are pulling my mom out on a stretcher.
I look at her in fear. Mandy has a tight grip on me so I don’t run away, but I manage to break free from it. I run outside as the ambulance pulls off. I stand there looking ahead with tears running down my face, I fall to the ground. My sisters and brothers and step-dad drive to the hospital.
I walk in the hospital room, and the overwhelming feeling that I felt last time I was in a hospital room begins to haunt me all over again. The same questions take over me again. “Will she live?” I know this time; all the feelings I feel now, are all real emotions.
I never thought that I could feel so many emotions for just one situation. As hours pass, I feel like I haven’t been here long enough. I am afraid to leave her side. After a few months of not going to the hospital, things had gotten a lot better in the home. My family and I were able to do things that we have not done in a long time.
We went shopping, we ate out, we went to “Jolly Holiday Lights”, we were becoming a normal family all over again. Things began to change over the next few months. My mom became sick again and I had to call the ambulance. My little sister MaKayla and I were the only kids home; I watched them pull my mom out on the stretcher.
MaKayla’s hand was in mine; tears ran out of both of our eyes.
“Lacey, when will mommy get better?”
I looked down at her,
“ I don’t know Kayla.”