I Did Not Cry

May 18, 2008
By Carlie Mayfield, Lake St. Louis, MO

I remember the worst day of my life like yesterday; it began with a phone call. I heard my cell phone ring from downstairs, the dance beat from the 80s meant Jamie needed talk so I ran as fast as I could. I said “Hey” only to be answered to with tears. While trying to hold on to her already lost composure, she told me of the tragedy that happened that day after school. My heart stopped, my body collapsed and I could say only three words: ‘are you joking?’ I wanted it to be a joke or a dream that I will wake up from at any moment.

I didn’t cry after I hung up the phone, I didn’t cry when I told my sister and mother, I didn’t cry myself to sleep that night or when I woke up the next morning. I said to myself “It’s not true; I will see her in the morning, smiling like she always does.” I did everything in my power not to let the tears flow. My eyes didn’t water when I hugged my friends and let them cry into my arms and told them everything is going to be alright. I saw people that day show remorse who I thought hated everyone; hate did not exist in the school that day, only sadness. I remained stoic.

The bell rang and class started, I gave my two best friends a hug to last them for the next three hours and walked upstairs. The principal came on the intercom; announced to the world what I learned the night before. Only this time I listened to the cleaned up, ‘it’ll all be okay’ version. He didn’t mention the note, the gun, or the park. Tears ran down my cheeks like a waterfall. He made the night before real, I came out of my foggy haze and for the first time in my life I truly cried… my eyes haven’t been dry since.

I cried in my sleep that night and I cried waking up. I cried every time I thought of my last image of her walking in the hallway smiling and joking with her friends.

The worst day of my life is the day Heaven gained an angel and the day many people lost a friend. I also unwillingly learned the most important lesson of my life that day: All things perfect in the world eventually come to a devastating end; I need to grab it while it last and enjoy it before it’s gone. If only one of Heaven’s angel’s knew what I know today.

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