Bittersweet Goodbye

April 26, 2012
By RS0305 SILVER, Muscat, Other
RS0305 SILVER, Muscat, Other
5 articles 14 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration. The world you desire can be won. It exists". --Ayn Rand

Hey Soul Mate
Where do I begin? I love u so much. You were the first person I ever actually felt close to. The first and only person I stuck to for six years. The one I completely trusted. I usually write so well and so much. Yet I’m so choked up now I don’t know what to write.
I don’t want to make you feel sad now, because this is a new beginning for you. I just want to say this: Even though we’re going to be physically far we’re going to be ok. I know a lot of people drift apart when they’re physically far. I know that I myself believed it was the wisest thing to do. Uptil now. But we’re going to get through this, coz we have something others don’t.
I don’t know where we might be after 5 years. No-one does. I can’t promise you that our relationship will always be the same, coz no-one can do that, either. What I can promise, is that I’ll always be grateful to u for all you’ve done. I can’t forget you, because you’re who made me what I am today.
It hurts to have to say goodbye. But – we’ve had six glorious years together and no-one can take that from us. I have to face life alone now, but whenever I feel really alone, I’ll look up at the stars in the night and relive every moment we spent together. I’ll believe that for one glorious moment, you’re still by my side. And that will keep me going.
I’ll mail u as often as I can. You’re going to be fine there. It wont be easy adjusting, but then nothing has ever been easy in your life, and you’ve overcome all of that, - the amazing strong person u r. It’ll be ok. I’ll be waiting for u to come back here so that we can meet and exchange news. I’ll always wait. Miss u already. Take care.


Remember when Rima died? And how that was one of the times I sunk into a dark place that I wasn’t sure I could come out of? I know that sometimes, in fact a lot of the times, you thought that I dint need you as much as you needed me. But sometimes, I’m scared I’ve used you; that I gave you less than I took from you. I mean let’s face it; there are not many people you can text “I need pep talk” and get back something that works for you – every time.
So you’ve opened this letter. Obviously, things are bad. First, I’m sorry. And second, I want to remind you of what you did for me – of the wonderful person you are, of what all you can do – in the hopes that it will make you feel better. In the hope that maybe, I can make you feel even partially as good as you made me.
So yeah. From the time you texted me about Rima’s death till today, the only reason I got out of there was you. Solely and completely you. You dint have to always know what I was feeling, or when I was hurting. You didn’t even have to text me often or miss call me or hug me to tell me you were by my side. I just always knew. That’s the best part of being your best friend: the fact that you were there was like this charm; this thing I could carry around with me to battle everything I had to go through. Maybe it was a talisman, maybe it was strength. I always knew that you were there, and somehow, that made me feel better than anything else.
I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. I mean let’s face it, the people around me may’ve known she had died but starting from when I got the news till today they have no idea of all that I’ve gone through. Sometimes I think its denial on their part; sometimes I imagine it is ignorance that has closed their eyes, but honestly, at this point I’ve stopped caring. Why should it matter? I have you.
So this is what this letter was: a reminder that things are okay, and that they will be if they’re not. That you just have to be strong like you always are and believe in God and have faith in yourself, and do the right thing. And you’ll be okay.
I love you.
PS: there’s this quote I love: -E.E. Cummings once wrote: 'To be nobody but yourself- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.'


Hey best friend.
Remember this day? I’ll never forget the whole thing, not just the Inter School but the Inter House; and the practices and the selection round as well. Remember how I came to school after a long time? And how we were sitting in the Reception, on the sofa like we did almost every morning. (God, you have no idea how nostalgic that it making me. How on earth will I ever go back to school next year without you?) Anyway, so remember how we were sitting and how you mentioned the contest and I got interested and then you went like: You want to take part. And I was like: why not? We can have fun. I’m so glad we did it. It was amazing. Remember how we got photographed together? You were first and I, second. You were amazing that day. When you were on stage (at school) I remember thinking: that’s it. She’s going to get the inner’s trophy. I was so proud – and you were so happy. Gosh, that was fun.
Well, if you’ve opened this letter, it means something’s wrong. I don’t really know how to make it okay (since I don’t know the situation, in fact it hasn’t even happened yet :-D) But what I can do is tell you that no matter how much time has passed since you’ve gone – “not a day goes by when I don’t miss you.” (This is actually from Harry Potter, the fifth one-that’s another awesome thing we shared; our love for the HP series. And I got you into them, remember?) But well, we both fell in love with it. We were so different and yet had so much in common. Let me tell you this: we, girl– you and I, had something no-one ever had, and I’m sure of it. So I want to thank you for the kind of love people freely die for. And I want tot tell you this: despite all the odds, we made it. We started off as unlikely friends (Fantastic Friends – remember?) And we ended as best of friends, and we always will be. Later on in life, when we get married, or end up wherever we end up, we’ll still always be friends. Best friends. Coz that’s not something lack of communication or physical distance can ever beat. I have faith that we’ll always know each other, coz I want you to be part of my life, in any way possible, for the rest of my life.
Whatever’s wrong – go fix it. You were always the go-getter, the one who went out and got what she wanted. You’re great, and strong, and awesome. And you’re my best friend. Go do it. Go face it all, because even though you don’t see me there, I’m right behind you, beside you, wherever you want me to be. And if you concentrate, you can feel me there. Love you!

The author's comments:
These are the collection of letters I gave to my best friend when she was leaving overseas for College. I sealed them and told her to open each envelope when she was having a particularly bad day. She called me from the plane. In tears, she said "I'm sorry, I missed you too much, so I opened them all. And of course they made me cry more."
We laughed and cried together on the phone till her plane took off and we lost connection.

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