Hidden Tears

January 10, 2008
Most girls have wonderfull memories with there moms that they will cherish for ever. Like shopping, doing each others hair and make-up, and comforting you when a boy breaks your heart. My memories they aren't so fun and loving.

Hi my names Danielle and my moms a pain pill and drug addict. Not usually what you hear from girls about there moms. I live with my father and during the day since he works I go over to my grandma's. I haven't seen my mother in 6 years except briefly when my brother had his surgery.

I hadn't thought about my mother or talked about her in so long untill one day when i came home from school and my dad pulled me aside and said, "Honey your mom has been sentenced to 6 years in jail." I just stood there for a minute trying to process it all. "Oh," i replied "I guess it had to happen sometime." He smiled and asked if I was ok. Of coarse I said yes. I slowley turned around and walked downstairs to my room and thought about her.

It was the first time I had actually sat down and thought about her. For the first time I cried. At first I was confused why was i crying for her. Did she even deserve my tears? I wiped my eyes and forgot about that day and started living my so called normal life again.

A couple weeks had passed and I was doing good I haden't shed another tear for my mother since then. That is until today. I got a call from her sister. I answered and heard crying on the end of the line. "Is this danielle," the voice asked. "Yes whos this?" "This is your mothers sister." Of coarse this was a huge suprise to me because my mom had been adopted and I had never spoken to her reall family ever. I spent 2 hours on the phone that day talking to my mom's mother and sisters. They had decided that once my mom had gotten out of jail they were going to come and get her and take her back to Alaska with them.

That night after i was in bed I cried. I tried to stop but i couldn't. Now when i need to cry I go down to my room and cry or sometimes just sit and think. I am not very comfortable with showing my feelings but I am getting better. Telling this story has helped me shed more tears that needed to be shed and it has helped to try and except her. I am still not very comfortable with calling her mother but I am getting more comfortable about it every day. After all the my mom has done to me. She has hurt me in ways that no person should ever have to feel the pain of. She is like the angel from my nightmare. An angel in the way that I love her in a way and my nightmare because of how many times she has hurt me. But in my heart I know that I love her. So to girls that are hating there moms, shed a tear once in a while it could save you.

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