Dear B,

January 9, 2012
By KillJoy SILVER, Newport, North Carolina
KillJoy SILVER, Newport, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The question that drives me hazy: am I or others crazy?" - Albert Einstien
"Life is not lost my dying. It is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the small, thousand uncaring ways." - Winstin Churchill

I fear I could be risking a lot by writing this, but it's something I think i have to say.

I can remember when I first added you on Myspace. To me, you were just another guy I met online. I thought you'd be like the rest. But we soon started to chat, and I found out that I was wrong. You're the sweetest person I've ever met. I absolutely love talking to you. It got to the point where talking to you was the only thing I cared about. I felt like you let me in, and I felt like I meant somthing to you. Even though my past told me differently, I just dropped my guard completely.

I can remember admitting that I liked you for the first time. You have no idea how nervouse i was. I thought I had ruind a great friendship. But you admitted you likked me too. I was estatic. I was joyous. I was addicted. Addicted to you

I can remember every conversation we've had. I remeber the little kissy-faces, whenever you called me "babe." I remember the songs you liked, and the parts of you life you told me about. I remember so much more, But what I remember most is the moment your words spelled out "I love you."

I was so happy to hear you were moving out of your brothers' house. From what you told me, he was a class-A jerk. For the longest time, I waited for the moment we could again talk like we use to. There were days when I could hold a smile up, But other days seem to never end. Waiting, wishing, longing to be with you.

I fear I could be risking a lot by writing this, but it's something I think I have to say. I'm in love. I don't think you understand what you meant to me. You had my heart, even when others had my hand. I would have given you the world. Even as I danced in the strobe lights at prom with my date, I imagined your face, so close to mine that I can smell the scent of your shampoo. If you were to have given me the word, I would have spent everything I have to live in the warm embrace of your arms.

You told me you were under my spell. You said you envied and hated those who fot to feel my lips. You brought tears to my eyes. My world had gone under a the waves of emotions. Love, disgust, saddness, bliss. You can cause me to feel anything you want me to.

But, just as I thought I was no longer paranoid, and as I began whole again, everything changed.

Justin told me everything. Of a girl brainwashing you to use you as a father for her son. Of you beleiving her evey lie. Of your idea to move out here only to be destroyed by her rumors. You left your best friend and called him a liar. You are not who I thought you were.

I know I'm probably not the one to talk. I have dated when we proclaimed out love, as you are with someone now. I blamed myself for driving you away. But I never forgot you. I always found time to talk to you. I always put you first. Wasn't I worth that?

I'm done with this! I'm done crying for you. I'm tired of waiting for you to comfort me. I'm sick of having you haunt my relationships. I'm done. I'm always going to have you in my heart, but I'm letting you go. It hurts to leave. Like scratching the skin on a wounded finger. But I know holding on would end up killing me.

I hope you have a good life. I'll miss you.

-your battered beauty

The author's comments:
He was in everything I saw. I went insane and wrote this to give myself closure.

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