Darkness consumes my mind as I sit in the middle of my bed. Thinking of the things that have gone down lately. Sitting and confiding in my dog for comfort because I don’t know who to turn to anymore. What do I do when everything is going wrong?? I let my friends confide in me and I take in the pain and suffering that they may endure at the time so they can live their everyday life thinking that I'm okay and that everything is going to be alright. But then those same friends stop coming to me because they fear they are going to lose me... when they stop coming to me the pain from not having them hurts worse then what I was going through before. So where is the breaking point for me? When do I finally say I’m done? i don't know. I have to stay strong so I can always be there for my friends. Even if they choose not to come to me with problems and push me away I’m going to be there no matter what. Its harder than I thought it would be, growing up and all. Dealing with new difficulties. I guess I’m going to have to deal with it and live through it because that’s a part of being in the darkness. Sometime you have to be alone.
March 19, 2008