Closing the Door

October 27, 2011
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I should feel more pain, but I don’t. He’s leaving and I’m accepting it. Actually, I’m almost relieved; I’ve been through too much.
At first, I was bawling when he told me this was it, and that he was going. I couldn’t understand it. He always said he loved me. What has changed, or was he just lying? I convinced myself it was the latter, because to me you don’t just quit on love. To me, love is eternal; it doesn’t just vanish. I guess to him, my love wasn’t enough because I know there is someone else. He wouldn’t admit it but I see pass his fake ways. I guess this someone offers him more than I do. Maybe she is more entertaining or cuter than I am. But, I know eventually it won’t get her far. He’ll runaway from her soon enough. He can’t handle true love.
I know the true him. I know he is a coward. If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be half way out the door right now. He was everything to me. He was the only man I ever loved. But he didn’t care that I gave him all my love. It actually intimidated him. He was not able to handle the supposed “baggage” that comes with my love. Those are his words not mine. I don’t see any baggage. I think its almost disgusting that he sees me as baggage.
I guess that’s why I’m not crying anymore, even though I’ve never been more devastated in my life. He’s just walking out. He’s done. He’s throwing away everything we had. He got bored of me and he to just abandon me. Now I’m left confused and alone wondering what I did wrong. He tells me it’s not my fault, but I don’t believe him. He keeps telling me that there is more to the story, but I won’t understand it. That annoys me the most. It just shows he doesn’t know me. I am a lot stronger than he thinks.
So I am done. I won’t waste any more energy on someone who is deserting me. He isn’t worth one tear. I’ve come to accept that as he closes that door, our relationship will forever be terminated. We are done; no longer will I be daddy’s little girl.

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