Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Things You Need to Know If you Live in Florida


Run in zig zags if an alligator chases you because it will follow you exactly and it has trouble with turning and seeing.


Do not be an idiot and mess around with the alligators. You will die.


You must be 16 to legally wrestle an alligator.


Alligators will not come out and attack you if you are not bothering them. But crocodiles will but there are no crocodiles in Florida so you should be fine.


Do not leave any babies, small children, or dogs by or on any bank of a stream, lake, river, pond, ext... The Alligators will eat them and they will die


People are really mean there. Get over it.


Be mean there or you will not last very long.


Peacocks WILL attack you.


The schools there suck so make sure you are doing your own studying because the teachers are terrible.


If you step on an ant hill you must run away as fast as you can because they are red ants and will chase you and attack you. They are fast. Trust me.


Fight to the top or stay on the bottom.


Snakes are everywhere and they are poisonous. Got a fear of snakes? Get over it.


If you have any open food on the beach the sea gulls will swarm and you will be attacked.


The grass there is really pointy and sharp so if you are bare foot or have flip flops/sandals don’t go on the
grass.


Don’t go swimming in random body of water. Bad idea. Don’t even think about it. DON’T!


Make sure you get a room with a fan or you will be miserable.


You want a pool. Everyone has one over there. (Mine was shaped like a bird!)


If you live in a big city then good look because you will get mugged, robbed, beaten up, verbally violated, bullied, yelled at, honked at, run over, arrested, searched, must I continue? (yes I really said that)


Do crunches to get your stomach all flat and abby because you will be swimming a lot


Do not go boating in shallow waters because you will run over manatees and I will come after you if you hurt one!


Go to the zoo so you can pet the sting rays.


Do not pet sting rays



Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback