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An Inspiration

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Although I know that fairy-tales never come true, but ‘tis nice to imagine. As I grow in mind I find my imagination tends to run wild. Sometimes I’m afraid I let it rule me… but one of the reasons why is because of my friends and family, or just maybe I’m trying to lay the blame on them so I don’t have to pay the consequences. Who knows? Dreaming big is what I do; especially when there’s romance involved in my dream or a daydream… it is just a part of me that’s inseparable. Most of the time my personality is bubbly, even when I’m down. People beware… I have a constant chatter streak, peculiarly when I’m nervous, meet someone new of have a ton on my mind that I don’t want to talk about so I channel it elsewhere. Sometimes if you view into my life I live for my writing, reading, or other things. So considering the facts, three or more paragraphs should come easily to me with all that I have stuck in the nooks and crannies in my mind and everything cooped up in my brain.

My family; well, generally, I don’t really like to talk about them or bring the memories that come with the association flooding through the forbidden gates back. If the subject does arise, I usually tend to change it. All in all though, I’m guessing it’s okay to write about it every once and a while. Most people in my grade know my story, the ones who care enough at least. Really long story short, I’m fatherless of two years come next August because he kicked me out and I have a biological little brother and a full time working mom. A war is going on personally, but it’s really not for discussion. I could write a whole sob-story book, but don’t feel like it. My friends, well right now I’m finding out that people use you and lose you; really none of my friends are true except for a select few… and oh yes, my books are my ultimate Prince Charming/Knight in Shining Armor.

Now I have a ton of pent up energy, sometimes I have so much that I’m in a consistent mood of blabbering nonsense. Almost all days you’ll find me smiling, laughing, and over all effervescent. Even when I’m hurt I mask the pain and put on a happy façade. I try to mask my pain because if you’re gloomy in a room full of cheery people it takes its toll on them and ruins their day. I am a hopeless romantic, no denying it. Most of my thoughts run on different veins throughout my brain… but my imagination and dreams run on the same vein along with romance. Don’t ask me to describe them, for when I die I will have at least three journals full of romantic scenarios that happen in my head. Overall I enjoy being a romantic-dreaming-happy-tom boy. Oh yes that’s another thing I am a respected member among the boys, one reason is because of my anger/temper; people usually tend to stay away from me when I tend to give a hint that I’m angry. I am respected by the guys because they are intimidated by all 5’3” of me. If I want something from them I’ll go up to my full height and “get my swag on” which to them is scary and they know that I really can’t be messed with, even if they are bigger and stronger than me. I’m athletic, but to be honest would rather stick my nose in a good romance novel. Really even though I intimidate people I’m an obsidian rock; rough and tough on the outside but breathtakingly beautiful on the inside.

“She’s the prom queen, I’m in the marching band; She’s a cheerleader, I’m sitting in the stands; She gets the top bunk, I’m sleeping on the floor; She’s Miss. America and I’m just the girl next door…”-Girl Next Door, Saving Jane. I am a very musical person who can keep the time, beat, lyrics and order of a playlist in order within song realms. My little brother says that I probably know every song in Colorado; and that I also don’t have a life outside my books… I think he’s correct on the latter and half right on the first. I draw, write and read while blasting my music. Each night which I do depends on my mood(s). But none of this really matters because we’ll all be gone someday and people will forget us as we fade with time.

At this point in time I can’t care what people think of me; because what they think of me says a lot about them. Reality: I’m probably the biggest carefree loving dork people will know. What I don ‘t get is why we are so restricted as a society and not free… free to be ourselves and not follow what people expect of codes and honor. My mind is a brilliant thing, with all my wishes, hopes, and dreams… but that only takes me so far, the rest? That’s up to me to decide and tell my body to react and follow through. Whether I’m angry, euphoric, reading, or not; all in all I am me all the way. For I’d rather people hate me for who I am than love me for who I am not… and no one can change that.





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