'Cause I Believe In You This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

August 18, 2011
You’re one of those guys that all the girls talk about. Whenever you do something bad, everybody in the whole school knows about it. You’ve broken two of my friends’ hearts. Yet you’re one of the coolest guys at school, and we’re friends. I stick up for you. You’re like the big brother that I’ve always needed.

I’m the kind of girl who guys like in a sisterly way. I get along with guys better than girls.

It all started when I was five. I was friends with some of your friends. We ended up being around each other a lot. You were there when I needed you and you cared about my feelings.

Once we got to the high school, everything was different. To be just “friends” with a guy is basically impossible without people thinking things. Yet we’re still friends somehow. I’ve watched you go through girlfriends, break hearts, and have your heart broken. I want to help; I want to call you, but I can’t.
Everyone thinks it’s weird that you’re friends with me. I’m not really popular. I’m not really pretty, or funny, or outrageous. But this makes me respect you even more. If you look close, we’re a lot alike. Neither one of us talks a lot, and we’re both unpredictable. We’re both lost and scared inside, but don’t show our feelings.

People ask me about you, since you’re as popular as you are. They ask me what you’re like and if all the rumors are true. I tell them that you’re nice, thoughtful. Then they say: “Isn’t he strange?” and I reply: “Yeah, he’s strange. Everybody’s strange.” You’ve done some pretty bad stuff I don’t approve of, and yet I’ll always be there for you.

With all the problems you’ve had in your life, it’s amazing that you’ve made it this far. But you’re strong on the inside as well as the outside. You give me strength, and you get me back on track when I get in trouble. There are certain people who are just plain comforting to see every day, and you’re one of them. It’s hard not seeing you for even just a couple of days. I’m scared because you graduate in June and I won’t get to see you for a long time. I should probably tell you all this, but I’m not that brave. You need someone to believe in you and teach you to listen to believe in yourself. Before your game or the big test you always say to me: “Do you think I’m ready?” I reassure you that you’re fine, you’ll do great. “You gotta believe it though,” I tell you. And you do. You make me proud.

Right now, I just want to say thank you for our friendship. I love being with you. I love having those deep conversations. I love the way you push me around, and I love the feeling I get when your arms are around me. I love your deep, questioning eyes and your messy hair. When it comes right down to it, I guess I just love you … and I need you. And all I can do is dream that you might feel this way about me.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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