Love Gone Wrong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

August 3, 2011
By
No, I am not a professional, just a plain old teenager who was dragged into a BIG mistake. Do you know what it is like to be in love? When you catch yourself staring into space, daydreaming about that special someone. Or maybe it’s the giggly feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're with him or her that you relate to the best. Well, whatever it is, it is an addictive feeling that not even your best friend can talk you out of. Now, here is my story ...

It was a week after my sixteenth birthday when my life changed. It was a slow process, but within the next 14 months I became a whole new person. I went from being energetic and bubbly to a quiet person who was drawn away from the rest of the world. I was so wrapped up in the thought of having an older, more popular jock for a boyfriend that I didn't see the change.

Now that I look back, I can see how powerful addictive love really is.

I gave up everything for him. He and my best friend were at each other's throats 24 hours a day. He didn't like her because she wasn't “cool” enough. She kept telling me that something about him “just wasn't right.” Of course I wouldn't listen; I was in love.

This was a source of constant debate between him and me. He wanted me to give up a trustworthy friendship for him. She and I had been close friends for almost two years, so it didn't seem logical to throw that away overnight. But I was in love, so who do you think I listened to? Yes, I ended giving up a valuable friendship for him. Mistake number one!

It was that first summer that all my goals, values and dreams were crushed. The problem was by this time I didn't need to be my own person. I had someone running my life for me. I didn't have to make any decisions for myself. I was told what to wear and where I was wearing it.

This was the first time that I sensed something was wrong. By this time I was so scared that I couldn't stand up to him. The previous months he had been abusive to a point, but he was getting more and more physical. He was no longer just gritting his teeth, he was now pushing and threatening me with his fist in my face. Though I was never hit, he had his ways. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had a reason to be scared.

He had this list of people who I wasn't allowed to talk to, and if I was caught chatting with someone on his list, then he would punch walls, windows, anything in reach, but not necessarily me. Because I "loved" him, I wouldn't want to make him hurt himself so I obeyed his stupid rules. Mistake number two!

The next incident was not my mistake, it was his! When I finally broke up with him (a year and four months into the relationship), he decided he didn't like that. He called every morning at 2 a.m., and every time he drove by my house he laid on the horn. This was fine. I understood his anger, but then he started threatening me. He swore that he would hurt me and kill anyone I went out with.

Over the summer, I went out with another guy for the first time since the break-up. I got a phone call the next day. The call was to let me know that he knew where I had been the previous night, who I was with, and what I had done. This scared me. I wanted to know how many times he had followed me before. I began to worry.

Two weeks later was the last straw. I was at a party with a bunch of friends. We were dancing in the backyard when a friend said that someone was in the woods. We laughed at her. When I was getting ready to leave I had an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I asked a friend to walk me to my car. There he was in his truck across the road. I went back inside and called my parents for a ride. When my mother got there, he was nowhere to be seen.

As I was saying good-bye to my friends, he suddenly came out of the woods in a complete rage. He screamed he was going to get me, that I had never given him a reason when I broke up with him, except that I didn't want a boyfriend anymore. He also made it clear that he would make sure that I would never have another boyfriend. That was it. My mom and I called the cops. I filed a restraining order. I wasn't going to let him control my life anymore. Correction number one!

Now, what I want to ask is why? Why did I let someone do this to me? This is the part that I can't deal with. I feel so strong some days and feel like crawling into a hole on others. I understand that this is a problem that hundreds of teens go through every day. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. There are plenty of people who understand and can relate to you. They all can make it through and so can you! Just reach out and ask for the help!

Now I just have to follow my own advice.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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