(Un)Sleeping

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Lately, during the night, I have been tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. I worry that I might develop insomnia. I’m lying there, thinking, just thinking. Everything, anything and nothing are racing through my mind, bringing up my worst experiences, filling me with grief.


As I lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, the past and the future are constantly duking it out, fighting their way to the front of my mind. It usually starts out with the past pushing forward, making me remember stupid things that I have done before, but in the blink of an eye, the future jolts ahead with a boost of energy. He tells me what wonderful things will happen tomorrow, or possibly weeks from then, depending on his mood. The future ages quickly, though, and makes me imagine how the major events are going to happen to me in my life.


My thoughts finally catch up to me as things quiet down. Only the tick-ticking of my watch beside me, that monotonous ticking, the only thing you will hear at night. Soon, the ticks and tocks turn to notes and beats, and my mind is flooded with music, not just any music, but my favorite songs. I tap my fingers to the beat and occasionally, hum a few lines, because the tune gets stuck in the back of my mind, like a dog trying to lick the peanut butter of the roof of his mouth.


The music is dissipating. My mind receives only static now. I look at the bed to my left, to see if my little brother is still sleeping, but by this time, I know that he already is. I lean over the side of my bed, and I catch a look at my watch, pressing the side to make it glow. The bright green glow hurts my eyes in the dark. The time has played another trick on me, yesterday has officially ended and a new day has just begun. Another day of school is closer than before now. “How will my school day go?” I ask myself, as I begin to think about how my day will go, my mind subliminally gets bored from the tedious school day and I drift off into a deep sleep.





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