This I Believe

June 1, 2011
By tonytourtugatanya BRONZE, Kissimmee, Florida
tonytourtugatanya BRONZE, Kissimmee, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I tend to live my life by the moment. I don’t think about how the day would turn out or how I would like it to be, but just whatever happens, happens. I believe by living in the moment, I wouldn’t have to worry about the future or the past just the present. Why worry about something that already happened or something that may or may not occur?

I strongly dislike looking into the future because when I look to deep of how I would like it to be it NEVER turns out the way I planned or wished. Why bring my hopes up high and then in the end have my head down low? I always heard the past is the past and there’s nothing you can do about it, and I agreed with that. There are things I wish I had done differently and theirs memories that I just want to forget and think it never happened. I’m tired of missing out on things that occurs to me in the present when I’m too occupied on the past or the future. That’s why I tend to start living life more in the moment because the only thing I’ll have to care about is what I’m doing and my surroundings. I might know left from right but I don’t know wrong from right.

An example of living in the moment for me would be when I go to concerts. The best stress reliever and to get away from reality would be the music and cheers of the crowd. When I’m at a concert, I want to feel and live at the moment and wish on a drum beats that it can live on forever and I wouldn’t have to go back to the hellhole we live in. The feeling I get and chills that run down my back as my favorite band goes on stage one by one. The fixed emotions that I receive, overwhelms me and I feel so alive that no one or anything can change that. Haven’t you ever had that feeling, that strong emotion inside of you that only happens during certain moments in your life? If not, then I guess you don’t get out to much but I do, and I’m glad! It’s like a personal high that I get that makes me feel on top of the world and no one can touch me. Living in the moment at shows is the best and I try my hardest to make sure that the past stays in the past and the future is tomorrow. There’s no point for me to attend a performance just to be like a rock and feel nothing but hot and sweaty. Wouldn’t be fair to me nor the performer or the rest of the crowd who are stroke and hype and I’d be dull and a bored. Hearing the music is the way I cope with life. Attending shows is so care-free that my worries are long gone for a few hours. I personally think it’s like a second home to me because I know I that I can be safe and no negative taught or unwanted visitors to make feel me that I’m endanger or have any reason to fear. I’ll close my eyes and sing along and when I finally have the will power to open them I’ll be back to reality outside the venues doors, outside my home.

The hardest for me, is letting go. Not my love ones or material things but my memories, especially the negative ones. I don’t know what’s up with me when all I that I can mostly remember are the things that I try so hard to forget. What’s wrong with me? I try my hardest to live and I think in the moment but I’m only human. I can’t possibly try and forget everything cause even though my life philosophy is to live in the now, I sometimes break it. I’m on that path were I know where I like the road to end but there’s usually the regularly detours that takes me where I started. See to me, forgetting about the past is so much harder than thinking about the future and what it has in stored. I think since I have been in the past something in me won’t let me let go of it, and I dislike it so much. Sure I have memories I would love to re-experience but they are now just a mere image in my head. Where compare to that of my bad memories it’s a clear image like I’m watching a movie being played over and over again, and it gets trying. To tell you the truth, I think I’m paranoid that the past will somehow repeat itself, because it usually does.

The future to some people can be great to look forward to but for others it can be scary. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who fear it. Just thinking about me getting old, and possibly getting married and having kids scare the living daylights out of me. I guess I’m afraid to grow up and have to deal with ton loads of responsibility that I don’t believe I’m ready for yet. I have a lot of growing up to do before I can handle the real world and what it has to offer. That’s why I live my life in the moment because right now I’m still a kid, who still needs her mommy and daddy by her side. I’m a weak and sensitive person and I know for a fact that the day I officially become an adult, I’d break down in tears and wish to be a teen again. Where the years weren’t the best but they weren’t the worst. I believe that I’ll forever have that kid in me who would shine so bright that I can put a smile on my adult face. I’ll dread the day when I turn eighteen and I’m officially an adult and the decision making and responsibly are on my shoulders. I can image the stress and how it’d affect me physically and emotionally. Until then I’m going to live in the moment and put aside the future until I really need it.

The present is where I am at now and I would like to stick to that and be my only worries. I want to have fun and live life to the fullest cause I’m on the verge of turning my life around and helping myself to get better before I do something that I might regret. Live life in the moment, is what I live by and it’s what I believe. I don’t wake up every morning thinking how I’m going to plan out my day but I just go with the flow and let it take its course. If it’s a bad day, then so be it. If it’s a good day then whoopee dee doo! I don’t care, all I care is that I have no regrets and one day I can look back at the day and laugh at either my sanity or no common sense.

The author's comments:
What I live by.

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