Sometimes, you just can't stop comparing your life to everybody else's. Whether someone has a boyfriend, a full ride to your dream school, a job, or personality traits that you don't have, they are all things that add up quickly in your mind. It's just so easy to become immersed in the things you don't have, as opposed to what you do. For some reason, it makes me feel as though I'm behind. It always makes me feel like I should be doing more, I think to myself "What am I actually doing?", it gets me in the mind-set where I feel as though I'm working towards almost nothing. I have a lot of days, where I feel like I'm just making no progress. I just feel like nothing is happening for me. On the exterior, I'm doing enough (at least the extent of "enough" that I can handle), but what's going on in my mind is how I measure things.


In reality, the sole progression that I'm paying attention to; is that of my happiness. I might be creeping towards it, but I still don't know. I'm definitely better than I was a year ago, and I'd hope that things will get better in the future; but it's not a very predictable thing. It's a slow progression, to say the least. Although I can go from best-mood-ever, to wanting-to-kill-everyone, to anxiety-ridden-animal in one day, my progressions don't happen day by day, or even week by week. Noticeable things can't happen for me in such short periods of time.


I think we all have times where we feel as though we have practically nothing. It isn't a reality, it's a mind-set. Usually, this would be generalized as being ungrateful (And I think a lot of us are ungrateful, at least to a degree), but at the same time, that isn't it at all. I know what I have, I consciously appreciate things whenever I can. I don't expect the world to simply give everything to me. This is the classic frame of mind, always wanting what we don't have and never being happy with what we do have. I know there are people worse off than me, and that I should be grateful- but that fact doesn't just snap me out of this. I've known all of my life that there are tons of people worse off than me, but it isn't a magic phrase that changes how I feel about my own life and what I want. I think it's something you fully begin to understand as you meet the many people this world has to offer. It takes time. Don't let yourself become consumed by what you don't have. Always know in the back of your mind that you have more than you might deserve. Then let yourself go after what you truly and wholeheartedly want.

As we go along the journey of self-discovery, hopefully we can begin to realize the difference between trivial, unneeded wants, and the things we actually need for our well-being to increase.


I just always want so much more for myself. I think were all in the mindset that we deserve to have "it all", whatever that definition may be in our minds. I think that concept of "having it all", is what you work towards until the day you die.