i just want to say

January 24, 2008
i just want to say that because of you my fears keep tearing away layer by layer to my most vulnerable place. This fear, is not like the fear i had for the monsters under my bed, because everytime i looked they werent really there, or they managed to disguise themselves as paperclips and balls of socks. But you everytime i turned you were there and you were beautiful and i often confused you with something that wouldnt be good for me. But i find myself questioning why are you the one who has me shedding, layers on the floor im bared without my wall protection me. why cant i just accept it. you were never allowed to have any of the power you have now. but you just demanded it. i witness this happening but still i cant accept it. ive witnessed you become everything i needed right in front of me, in the matter of 24 hours. when in the begining all i did was deny you.

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