Are You Out There, Soulmate?

May 12, 2011
By starryeyed BRONZE, Hamilton, Other
starryeyed BRONZE, Hamilton, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It’s the neverending topic of heart-to-hearts, drinks with the girls and countless sleepovers - is there really such a thing as a soulmate? And where do we find one?!

Just tonight, my housemate had her heart broken by an old flame. My house and I stopped whatever we were doing and directed our energy and efforts into consoling our friend. However, the night then turned into a huge discussion over this very subject - the debatable existence of a soulmate.

Personally, I’m a huge hopeless romantic -growing up, I surrounded myself with movies like The Notebook and Romeo + Juliet, needless to say, I was convinced true love was not only possible, but a given right. My teenage years (you know, those years of self-definition and exploration?) were spent in yes, an all girls school. It doesn’t come as a huge surprise I have this almost naive mentality when it comes to romance, I can’t help it. Four years of my life were spent in an environment of love-drunk and broken-hearted teenage girls; boys and relationships were the focal point of our education. A normal Wednesday afternoon, during bio class, could easily consist of at least two girls who would be talking endlessly about the boys from one of the co-ed schools they like, and how despite the constant texting, they’re unsure if the feeling is mutual. Another three girls would be staring out the windows, watching the boys from the all boys school down the street, walking with their ties hanging loosely from their necks, the wind ruffling their hair, clearly not paying attention to our teacher lecture about the digestive system. And it wouldn’t be unusual to see a small circle of girls, huddled in the back, a tearful teen in the centre whispering last night’s events of how she just got dumped and is seriously considering leaving class.
This was my world and for four years, I was sure that I had a comprehensive idea of romance.

Obviously, two years after moving out and being in university, my ideas on the subject have drastically changed. Not to go into detail, but I’ve constructed a more realistic idea of how relationships between men and women work. However, although I was given quite the reality check upon coming here, I still hold a strong belief in that mystical term soulmate.

A combination of film, books, personal experience and maybe just a general hope for mankind has led me to believe that there are such things as soulmates, only there isn’t just one for you. University has given me a myriad of lessons to take away with me when I leave, and one of those is that there are certain people you meet, who make that significant impression on you. From each relationship you have, romantic or even platonic, not only do you learn something from that person, but they fulfill a certain emotional need you have.

To be more specific, I believe we go through life meeting different people, and yes we may have numerous relationships and each of those significant others, leaves a mark. Each of them meet you at different points in your life, and at each of these points your needs change. In university, a year-long relationship with that cute guy in Kin who traveled all over Europe, he inspired you to go out and see the world, to start actually living your life, and so you did. Fast forward 10 years later, and you married the guy who knew what he wanted in life, a really grounded individual. Looking back on your life, think of what you learned from both these relationships. Ultimately, I think we spend our lives discovering happiness in all its different forms, and as a result of the soulmates we meet along the way, we figure out who we are.

The author's comments:
An honest commentary on how that search for a soulmate has evolved, and over time, I have reached a new conclusion.

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