My Love Close and My Friends Closer

December 17, 2007
By Lily Mills, Cincinnati, OH

“Alright we’re done! You look great!”
I’m sitting in the barber’s chair at Great Clips
My hair dresser named Shelly spins the chair around
My eight inch long golden brown hair is now cut four inches shorter
Falling right below my shoulder
And I feel so revealed by my hair gone
I don’t know why but it does
My side bangs choppy and wispy covering my one green eye
Shelly says that I can’t pin them back anymore,
“Great, now I can hide from the World.” I think to myself
Well I wanted change
And I got it
During the hair cut I pretended to listen to Shelly talk about how I should style my hair
But all I could think about was life
About how well I thought this year was going to be
Because I started off so well
And then about how my life has changed
About how ever since I got the love that I wanted
And about how he left me
My life has changed
Sure I’m only a young thirteen year old but Middle School love and heart break hurts too
Especially when now that I know he only claimed to love me to get closer to my best friend, after she clearly said she didn’t want him.
Then I think about how after him I was so devastated, lost and blinded that I said yes to a guy that played me two weeks later
I only said yes because I had feelings left for Old Love that I so desperately
Wanted to give away, I would have said yes to anyone
And he only went with me so he could say that he had a girlfriend, and because he felt bad for me…
Love is a mistake
Now all my friends won’t talk to me
I’ve said I’m sorry so many times
I don’t know what I’ve done to be treated this way
They said we were good
But all I’ve gotten is the cold shoulder and tears running down my face
I’ve kept my word and stayed by them, never talking about them again
But they haven’t done the same
I know you’re all thinking “What about your other friends?”
But I’m not over doing it when I say all my friends won’t talk to me
They have all turned on me
And you know how hard it can be to make new friends at the end of Second Semester
Except for I guess one friend
But he loves me… with a passion
And I don’t love him
I mean I love him but only in a friendly way
I wish I did love him because he is everything I could ever want
But my heart just doesn’t feel the same
It won’t fall for the guy I need most
And I’m sorry
He complemented my hair cut today at school while he walked me to the bus
The guy I liked didn’t even seem to notice
At least the guy I like knows my name: at least we’re friends
But the guy I like is my best friend’s ex
And my ex’s best friends
Do I really want to get in the middle of that?
That spells D.R.A.M.A. all over again
I’m trying to just focus on my hair cut as I stare in the mirror
I smile
Now the last thing I think about is how I should have
Kept love close and my friends closer
Well if life can’t change at least my hair can
Maybe just maybe life will change and turn around
And when it does at least I’ll look good…

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