She loves the feeling of being able to finally be free, a real kid and hardly cry anymore. She hated all the swearing and yelling back and forth across the room. Stomping of the angry step father who still has yet another case of beer left to drink. Always full of fear, when trying to find some place to be, just to get away from something; that object, person who she has to call “dad”. Being afraid was all she ever felt… never safe, loved, or even happy. She had to feel this cause when he came home, she knew it would come again, another fight more violence and the beatings she expected everyday. She never thought it would be over, she only thought about the words he said to her, and if they were really true. Thinking about if she turned him in or ever told anyone, he would know and do what he said. Hoping the neighbors would hear them at night. She walked her dog the only thing that made her feel tough. The only protector she ever had was her “rotty”. Big and buff the one thing she could say she really loved. Moving away to every house on different blocks sometimes city’s, that same guy known as her dad would still find her, her sister, and mom. Praying that GOD will someday make it stop, but she gave up on him, never really trusting him and losing her faith, even hopes little by little. She still puts up with the beatings and bruises and the questions. She thinks why don’t I just tell? Now is my chance… “To afraid” she makes up excuses by saying: “oh these they’re just from when I fell”. But really they were form him, her dad, that stranger she wished she didn’t knew. She hates till this day how everyone feels sorry for her, she wants to keep it a secret, about her past but when someone asks she has no choice but to turn away and say: “I don’t have one I was abused growing up” when they try to look at her, they understand like she hoped they would, but nobody has ever really felt this much pain like she has to. For six years of living in Sumas still only her closest friends know, they know about her “real” dad the one she’s only seen for times in her life, and the one she was “forced” to call her dad. They’re both in prison she knows she’s safe where she lives. Finally right now she’s decided to “open up” and let her pain fly away, tell everyone who that person really is, the truth is the person who has had all this pain was “me”.
Ex-Step Dad and the Beatings
December 14, 2007