December 7, 2007
I asked her where it hurt, and she pointed with one finger to her temple, and watched me. It was an obvious cue taken from Raiders of the Lost Ark. The next logical event in the sequence would be for me to kiss her wherever she pointed, eventually getting to her lips. I know that she knows this. I also know that she told me that there was no way she would cheat on her boyfriend, and that this would be a step in the wrong direction. I didn't want to upset her.
"I'd kiss you, but I don't want Steve to come after me," I said with a smile. She smiled back at me. I had passed her test of willpower, to see if I would disregard what she had said.
"There's no way I'm going to cheat on Steve," she told me the night before, on the phone. "As difficult as it might be, for both of us, I'm only coming over for cheesecake."
So as we sat under the blanket on the futon, watching the movie, she yawned and leaned warmly against my shoulder. I didn't know what to do at that point (would putting my arm around her be too much? Would she get defensive? Was she ready to cheat on that loser Steve after all?). I just let her keep leaning for a few minutes, but she didn't stop, and my shoulder was getting tired of supporting her head. So I casually put my arm around her, and she cuddled in close to me under the blanket. It wasn't extremely sexual, but it was very cozy. After a while she wiggled even further down and ended up resting her head in my lap, her long, slender legs stretched out. Such a beautiful girl was there, practically begging to be pillaged, but I never went too far. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with me. Two years ago, we were laying together in her bed. On her back, looking up at her ceiling, she said,
"Do you know what's different about you from all the other guys I've dated, Aaron?"
I could think of a few things, but I was curious.
"No, what's so different about me?"
"You make me feel safe," she said.
That image from two years ago played back in my mind that night. I wanted her to still feel safe with me. I wasn't out to take advantage of her, I had too much respect for her to do that. I watched as her soft face and blond curls turned to watch the movie. And the images on the screen danced on her nose, her cheeks, and in her eyes. I could feel myself falling in love with her, and I smiled.

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