What I have to say is never easy, but not to hard when you get down to it. I can only wish that I will have the strength to go ahead and say all the things I need so badly to say. I can’t get you out of my head, call it what you may. Maybe I am a fool to feel the way I do, but then I do not know what I feel. How can I put to words what is to my heart so plan so easy to read…to understand? Some may call it love some inflation of the young heart, but I call it poetry. Something so beautiful that it inspires such feeling that it cannot be bad, or wrong. What I feel for you is only found in the great works of the master artist, famous poets, and in mother earth’s mighty works. That is what makes my heart sing, my soul bleed, and fingers fly over paper. Inspiration! It can only be called Inspiration, this feeling you inspire in me. The tightness in my chest, a knot that no amount of words could loosen…except those written down for all to see. In poetry I may find the release I so need, or in the bright strokes of color from my paint brush. The sweet bliss of the music I make as my fingers fit the keys as in magic. But there is no magic in the sweet bliss of release, just the awe. The feeling that you have no more power in what you feel or when you feel it when the feeling hits you. It may leave you week and unsure of what you believe in. You may need to take a step back, or stand there knowing you were right all along. The inspiration you bring to me is like that of a physical blow. A mountain may be unmoved by the wind, but has no chance against the mighty feeling you can stir up. Why then may you ask how I can stand to be near thee? By the will of the force that drives me to paint, sing, dance, write, laugh, the will to believe in something more. In something that does not stand on false hopes and broken dreams. Inspiration, not a person is what I seek. The light, the color, the sound of your sweet music. It draws me like a bee to honey, the birds to the south in the winter. Something so deep that nothing even common since or the heart may stop it. That is how I feel when I am with you. How can someone feel so much? That is for you to answer, and me to know. For I am a women and you are my Inspiration.
January 9, 2008