Something So Simple

November 30, 2007
The wind is cold and endless. I stand against the brick wall of a building, taking picture after picture of the red bricks, set so beautifully, so peacefully. These walls tell the stories of past decades. They tell the stories of lives, of tragedies, of love. I want to know everything, the past interests me so much. I place my warm hand on the cold surface of the wall, it speaks to me. It tries to tell me what it has seen, but it can’t. It has no mouth, and no eyes. It isn’t alive. I feel cold inside, cold like surface of the wall.
I go inside and walk to the end of a long, long hallway. My feet make dull thuds, my jeans rustle, my bag makes a small thumping noise with the beat of my walking. I walk to a door. My hand reaches to push it open, I see people laughing and playing ball outside. People I don’t know. I have homework to do, homework I need to do. “Just walk outside, sit and do your homework.” My brain tells my body. But something won’t let me go. I turn around and walk back down the long, long hallway and out the door I came from. I stand beside the bricks, I touch them, I lean against them and try to blend in. It doesn’t work. I am still human and the bricks won’t let me join their silent watch of the east perimeter of the school.
Something in me says “Find a wall that will let you join it.” Another part says “This is stupid, go do your homework.” I look at the ground, my dirty sneakers look up at me. I take a step away from the wall, then another. And then I am running to see the southern horizon. “The city! There are lots of places to go there, lots of tunnels, walls and overpasses.” My mind tells me. I can’t see the city of course, its too far away. But it calls to me for a place to go to. I want to see the graffiti… it tells stories too. I want to see names carved into walls and dates and marks from fights.
I take a step forward. And the wind blows me back. It says “Go home, little girl. It’s not time to go.” I walk over to a bench and take out my homework. I pass the time until the late bus brings me home.

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