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Today Was Different...

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Today was different. Nothing changed. Nothing happened out of the ordinary. I didn’t meet anybody new. I didn’t suddenly jump out of my daily routine. But when I woke up today…I knew something was different.

Today I was bored. I walked around my house like someone who thought there was something they should be doing but couldn’t think of what it was. As I walked aimlessly around I wondered what in the world it was that I normally do, as if I never really knew. It seemed like the things I normally listed off as hobbies were stupid and a waste of time.
That didn’t make sense. I wasn’t doing anything different.

Today I took a walk. I always take walks. About thirty minute long walks to be exact. But today I thought about the broad concept of life and what my purpose in it is supposed to be. It excited me to think that I was born for a specific reason, that everything about me was there so I could fulfill my destiny. While I did this I tried to take wide strides so I wouldn’t step on any of the cracks in the sidewalk.
That was unusual. I never do that when I walk.

Today I watched a movie. It was a good movie. I liked it a lot. When I watched it I thought about movies in general and how they try to imitate real life. But when you really think about it, they never actually succeed in imitating real life. It’s like they’ve invented their own little imaginary world and they pretend that how life works in that world is exactly the same as it works in our own. Everybody seems to believe it. I wonder if any book or movie has ever actually painted the perfect image of real life. I wonder if that’s even possible.
That was odd. I never think about things like that when I watch movies.

Today I sat down in boredom and puzzled over why today was different. I thought about how all of a sudden everything seemed so dull in my life, and how I had this crazy desire to do something big. I thought about how pointless my life would be if it ended right now. I could die any moment, regardless of how healthy I am or how things seem. It happens all the time. People get hit by cars. They get cancer. They trip on the stairs and break their necks. You can’t just automatically presume you’re going to live for forty more years because that’s what all people think…right before they die. I thought about how I need to do something…how I need to change. How I need to start living as though I could die any day. How I need to become somebody worth remembering.
That was extremely strange. I never think about things like that when I sit around being bored.

Today I wondered if the reason today was different, was because someone else had already thought of all these things and had known them all along⎯and now they were trying to make me see it too before it’s too late.

Today nothing was different. The only difference was that I saw that it needed to be.





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