September 27, 2010
By kjones BRONZE, Orange, California
kjones BRONZE, Orange, California
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments


My bruised legs were propelling up and down in a desperate desire to gain any sort of stability on the thick layers of leaves that covered the forest floor. Where one might stop and appreciate the amazing sight of nature, to me the massive oak trees standing tall were only streaks of brown and shades of green. My surroundings had become like a messy painting - the artist has no blatant desire for detail; the brush strokes blend in the colors and one is not sure what to make of the whole masterpiece. At this rate I was fearful my legs could no longer support my flailing limbs, and soon I would be catapulted down the never ending terrain. My momentum would be the only thing to carry me.

My eyes soon became fixed upon a dilapidated house; although, it could hardly be considered a house because the thick roots of the trees had begun to grow through the house’s foundation and use its concrete walls for support. Usually my instincts would keep me from entering such a place for I have better judgement; however, the increasingly louder sound of the crisp leaves appeared to be hinting this could possibly be my only chance of life - I took the risk. He forcefully screamed my name and some other vulgar words; it was obvious that his rage had grown worse since he inevitably took a role in the chase. I pondered that his yell seemed daring to me amidst the complete silence of nature, disrupting the sublime aura encircling me

I ran into the first room I could spot. The room’s lighting was a deep type of dark, a dark that seemed to have gone further than the depths of the walls that supported its caving roof. The air was heavy, and my nostrils inhaled the putrid smells of decaying wood and mildew. I could not help but think that this must be the smell of rotting corpses. I crept into a small closet with a wooden frame. Quietly I stood there as the small streams of light passed through the crevices of the aged structure. Desperate not to make a sound, I held my muscles tightly, forbidding them to shake; for any slight movement would be heard for what seemed like hundreds of miles. The quiet became even more intense and every breath stole my focus. My body begged for more oxygen, yet the short quick breaths continued; uncontrollably my lungs gasped for air.

Suddenly, I felt a breeze of cool air delicately cross my legs causing every hair to stand up. Then this eerie feeling came over me that time seemed to have stopped; perhaps the whole world froze in time that exact moment. Soon the scene resumed. My palms were cold and clammy, my stomach was doing flips in every way imaginable, and my heart was beating fast enough that I swore it might burst through the layers of my thin skin. Every thing in that moment seemed to confirm my first reactions to the desolate shack. The furniture taking up most of the space, casted dark shadows upon the dusty floor. The man could be standing in this awful place, and I would hardly notice his presence. I carefully observed the room:The sun forced its way through the small gaps of the wood, a thin layer of dust covered the furniture, and outdated curtains drooped over the broken windows. As I searched the space for the evil man chasing me, every figure helplessly metamorphosed into a human being. The peach colored, worn out drapes resembled muscular, veiny arms. The extra fabric bundled on the shelf, misplaced by the negligent house owner, had piercing eyes and a strong, prominent nose formed from the twists in the material. I was quite aware that my imagination was running wild, but I had no control over the thoughts speeding through my mind--all logic had disappeared like the light had from this very room.
The whole time I had been surveying the room, I almost didn't take notice that my eyes had been opened and stretched like gaping holes leading to nothing but the wide open space that now consumed by mind. My stare was direct and deep yet it had no explainable function. Now the quiet surpassing my ears forced a tingly feeling upon my body. My ears straining to hear any signs of another being, I heard a creak, and realized someone must have stepped on the crack that divided the wooden planks. I heard yet another creak. I was sure the sound was becoming louder and louder every moment. I was praying the most desperate prayers as I pushed my back against the cool fabric. The goosebumps now found on my body made this motion all too real.

The door swung open; I had recognized the man's small quiet eyes that were now forcefully staring into my own. I gasped for my last breath as the man’s forceful fingers brought my body towards his. I must have been taken by surprise that no sound could have been made. I dug my fingernails into his skin piercing him but to no avail. I forcefully brought my foot into his gut, but it was clear I was no match for his burly figure. Effortlessly, I was slung over his shoulder as my consciousness faded.

The author's comments:
I hope that people will be able to see the same scene that I visualized when I originally wrote the piece.

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This article has 2 comments.

smartguy13 said...
on Oct. 6 2010 at 11:55 pm
wow that is so amazing! such good imagery and really captured my attention.  You are truly gifted in all that you do

poopie123 said...
on Oct. 6 2010 at 7:40 pm
wow!!! this is such a good story! i got chills when i read it 

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