Sour Slumber

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
“Got to bed, get some sleep.”

What if I can’t sleep? What if my dreams are so paralyzing that staying awake, walking about the house in search of refuge, is a much safer way to spend my time? Because when dreams come true, it’s not so tiresome from sleep deprivation than it is fear of what I might see. And what happens when your body hurls itself into the candy-coated comfort of sleep and yet you thrash yourself awake from fear of your mind’s work? Do you run into your mother and father’s room? Do you wait for some kind of soothing magic that will wash away all of the memories of just a few minutes ago? How long will you have to wait for such comfort? And what if it never comes? What if you don’t have a soul to run to, but the soul of the beast inside your own mind? Then who do you have to lean on for support but your own self, the same self plotting against you, plotting your demise.

And if that is such a scary thought, why do you curl yourself into a ball and mumble to yourself hopeless lies that have yet to be fastened to any bit of truth? What do you have when all is up in the air and nothing is grounded but your own worst enemy? You have yourself. Whether your own mind is a reliable guardian and trusted friend is another question entirely, though most do not see it this way.

The real, most important question is: Do you care? Do you care if your mind is respectable and true? Some would indeed worry about the integrity of their own mind, but those are the luckiest of us who have strong foundations to stand on; those who have faith in something enough to trust that no matter what they might question, they will not fall. While others of us, doubtful, lowly and anxious, choose to believe that all is well in our minds; that there is no cause for alarm, and that our brains are perfectly sound. These people have nothing to support them and so choose to believe in whatever is within reach. These same people usually lose grasp of their false sense of support, and plummet to the very lowest of their being.

This is when we should worry for our lives, when we turn on ourselves. The problem in the world is not conflict between two individuals or more, it is between two very similar companions, self and mind. And when we lose faith in our own minds, we lose faith in ourselves and others. And that is the beginning of the end, not global warming or border hoppers.





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback