Thoughts

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“I love you” and “I like you” are two phrases that are very easy to say, but are very hard to express. If only it were as easy to express this as it is to eat a cookie. I believe that the people who love you greatly don’t always express it the right way, even if they say it.


Have you ever experienced love at first sight? I have….ha-ha just kidding. This guy that I like, well he likes me too. Being the dumb blonde that I am, I didn’t know that he liked me. I mean come on I flirt with guys all the time, how in the world am I supposed to know that he likes me?! One day he hugged me really tight (there’s a sign of affection) and so being the outgoing girl that I am, I asked him “ do you like me like I like you?” and he replied “ no I’ve just been flirting with you and hugging you these last two weeks for no reason.”. Well I love guys with sarcasm like, but I hate being the initiator in relationships, but in this case it didn’t matter. A simple “I like you “from him would’ve worked though.


Have you ever been promised something so important and then one day it doesn’t matter anymore? Well I have as well, by my best friend. She is really my sister, best friend, hero, and role model all down the drain. She told me, no she promised me that she wouldn’t move out, silly thing to get upset about right? Well when you have been through as much crap as I have it really isn’t so silly. Well on the day she turned eighteen she moved out. The only things left that I have of her are some pictures and a stupid letter from her. This mistake she made practically erased all of the good memories of her. After weeks of not talking to her, I became the bigger person and faced her. She told me more lies such as, “I’m happy now….” and “I didn’t mean to hurt you….” And I told her “No, you are self centered liar!” As you can tell, this conversation didn’t go so well, but I did feel better emotionally. See? Even though she said she loved me, her way of showing it hurt me.


Lastly, do you ever cringe when you hear the word “mom”? I do. From the time I was born until the age of nine, I was in a tornado of chaos. My biological mother was a result of this because she acted like an idiot would with a child. She did thousands of things such as pills. Drinking, drugs, partying, and guy skipping. Of course at the age of nine I didn’t know any of these things were wrong, yeah right. I did know these things were wrong, but what could I do, I was only a child. I heard “I love you baby girl” a million times, but her love was expressed differently. Now that I live with my dad and my step mom I’ve realized that.


All of these things were on totally different levels. A mother who could care less, a selfish self centered sister, and a clueless crush. They represent the same belief though....sometimes we don’t express love in the right ways.





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