The Five Stages of Petty Junior High Drama

June 21, 2010
NUMBER ONE: The Plague

-Your best friend forever tells everyone that you are “totally cheating” on your boyfriend*. You get the outrage disease and feel like your world is crumbling apart. People are sheep; they’re going to believe your eyeliner caked friend.
*Might I add you’re in LOVE – you’ve been going out for a whole THREE WEEKS!

NUMBER TWO: The Defiance

-You post a hateful status on Facebook late that night*. You ramble on for who-knows-how-long before posting. It says something along the lines of:

“OMG. I hate dramaa! This is so ridiculous! I am so maad at her right noww! She is SUCH a liarrr! And I lovee him,,,I hope he believes me. If not,,,my heart will be so broken! Don’t text me, I don’t want 2 talk 2 anyone! (ILY) </3”
*Note the lack of names… (hmmm)


-You both draft a group of REAL friends (who wear too much eye makeup) to give the other the cold shoulder and glare of death*. This goes on for a few days, but it feels like forever without your bestie. At some point, the teachers start looking for gang colors...the tension is as thick in the air as flowers in midspring.
*Occasionally the black crap about the eye lowers the level of death within the glare, so don’t worry too much.

NUMBER FOUR: The Apology

-You are too proud to admit your ignorance*, but the other girl is not. She weakens and has her new best buddy send you a text that reads something like,

“I am like soo sorryy,,,I was just mad and it wasss so not cool of mee, I knoww how mean I was and totally don’t expectt to be forgiveeen,,,but just think about it, ‘kay? U know I just did it cause I thought ur BF was hot lol ;)”
*Or perhaps you’re too ignorant to see your ignorance…

NUMBER FIVE: The Reunion

-You make her kiss your cute Ugg clad feet for a while, but then you give in. ‘Cause God knows she’s your best friend, and she wouldn’t do ANYTHING to hurt you.*
*Pinky promise.

Join the Discussion

This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

HIPPIEatHEART_writerINsoul This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 24, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Purely for lighthearted humor, people.

Don't take it too seriously. ;)

ArtInBlackandWhite replied...
Jul. 9, 2010 at 11:58 am
HIPPIEatHEART_writerINsoul This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 9, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Thank you!


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