The Five Stages of Petty Junior High Drama

June 21, 2010
By MumblingMelanie DIAMOND, Jackson, Missouri
MumblingMelanie DIAMOND, Jackson, Missouri
79 articles 0 photos 210 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't be a victim; be a titan.


NUMBER ONE: The Plague

-Your best friend forever tells everyone that you are “totally cheating” on your boyfriend*. You get the outrage disease and feel like your world is crumbling apart. People are sheep; they’re going to believe your eyeliner caked friend.
*Might I add you’re in LOVE – you’ve been going out for a whole THREE WEEKS!

NUMBER TWO: The Defiance

-You post a hateful status on Facebook late that night*. You ramble on for who-knows-how-long before posting. It says something along the lines of:

“OMG. I hate dramaa! This is so ridiculous! I am so maad at her right noww! She is SUCH a liarrr! And I lovee him,,,I hope he believes me. If not,,,my heart will be so broken! Don’t text me, I don’t want 2 talk 2 anyone! (ILY) </3”
*Note the lack of names… (hmmm)

NUMBER THREE: The War

-You both draft a group of REAL friends (who wear too much eye makeup) to give the other the cold shoulder and glare of death*. This goes on for a few days, but it feels like forever without your bestie. At some point, the teachers start looking for gang colors...the tension is as thick in the air as flowers in midspring.
*Occasionally the black crap about the eye lowers the level of death within the glare, so don’t worry too much.

NUMBER FOUR: The Apology

-You are too proud to admit your ignorance*, but the other girl is not. She weakens and has her new best buddy send you a text that reads something like,

“I am like soo sorryy,,,I was just mad and it wasss so not cool of mee, I knoww how mean I was and totally don’t expectt to be forgiveeen,,,but just think about it, ‘kay? U know I just did it cause I thought ur BF was hot lol ;)”
*Or perhaps you’re too ignorant to see your ignorance…

NUMBER FIVE: The Reunion

-You make her kiss your cute Ugg clad feet for a while, but then you give in. ‘Cause God knows she’s your best friend, and she wouldn’t do ANYTHING to hurt you.*
*Pinky promise.


The author's comments:
This is dedicated to the ignorant people who clog up my Facebook feed with crap such as that of the above article.
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT. Get a life, people.
It's all my own work; I didn't ACTUALLY copy and paste a status or anything. They're all alike, so it was easy to adapt to the grammar and way of speaking.

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This article has 3 comments.


on Jul. 9 2010 at 1:49 pm
MumblingMelanie DIAMOND, Jackson, Missouri
79 articles 0 photos 210 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't be a victim; be a titan.

Thank you!

:3


on Jul. 9 2010 at 11:58 am
ArtInBlackandWhite BRONZE, Oxford, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never start frowning, because you never know who could be falling in love with your smile."

I LOVED it!

on Jun. 24 2010 at 7:12 pm
MumblingMelanie DIAMOND, Jackson, Missouri
79 articles 0 photos 210 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't be a victim; be a titan.

Purely for lighthearted humor, people.

Don't take it too seriously. ;)



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