My Resolve: The Declaration

June 15, 2010
Hey. Listen.
I’m not asking you this time. I’m telling you.
These words may not sound like me, but the truth is, they are from me.
Stop worrying already, my plan isn’t to destroy you with my words. In fact, the whole point doesn’t even involve you at all.
That is the point.
I’m not searching for approval. I’m not trying to conform to other people’s thoughts. I’m not allowing other people to pressure me into second guessing myself.
So actually, you probably should worry. This truth will be too harsh for you.
I am quite pretty. Have I ever said that before? Well I’m starting now. I’m really pretty. You may not think it with the clothes on my back, but despite such dowdy outfits, I walk like a goddess.
My eyes shine brighter than any others’. No doubt, my ways of the world have turned a few heads upside down. I see hope in the cornered situations, giving others no opportunity to believe otherwise but the positive.
I am intelligent. Every piece of information is taken with an open mind, free like the clouds in the sky. It does not work like clockwork, rather it is a brilliant dream going beyond the imagination whenever it wishes. This mind will never work the way you want it to.
I’m quite fine with that.
Now pay attention.
For as long as memory served, my chest was tight. The lump in my throat accompanied the constant complacency in my personality. I truly do prefer not to say anything if it means keeping the peace. But doing it so many times, pushing who I am down to a humble minimal, slowing down while others ran, made me tired. I was tired. But, even you knew that part. A sleeping little girl, I was letting it all happen without doing a thing. I must say, doing nothing is very hard. Staying quiet is even more so.
Here it comes.
I’m not done. Not by a long shot is this over. In fact, this is my beginning, because even if it took a long time, I finally figured it out. I thought you and everyone else were so great, so impressive, so talented. It was as though I was just the supporting character in your tale, helping you out with the important things yet never remembered.
But I finally figured it out. I’m not sorry to say, I was wrong. I was never the supporting character at all. It was never your story to begin with.
It was always mine.
Mine to choose, mine to play with, mine to switch and swirl all around, I being the main character, and you the supporting cast. So I’m going to sing, I’m going to dance, I’m going to run, I’m going to write and reach beyond the stars.
These are my last thoughts, so I’m going to be clear.
Just try to catch up, alright?

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